advice, bdsm, bondage, coming out, coming out to friends, everyone is gay, kristin russo, lgbt, lgbt advice, long distance, long distance relationship, relationships
“Long story short, I'm a guy in the closet with a boyfriend two states over. He gave me this cute collar for my birthday, and I've been wearing it around the house, but I'm too nervous to wear it anywhere else. I'm usually not a very risque dresser, so how can I justify to my friends that I want to walk around in bondage?”
- Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
Well, when you’re friends are like ‘dude…WHAT IS THAT’ all you have to do is look them in the eye and very seriously say ‘a collar’ and then let the silence hang in the air for a GOOD TEN SECONDS, then just lunge the top half of your body toward them… Don’t do anything, just lunge a little bit… they’ll get the point.
BUTSRSLYYOUGUYS. Normally when you try to switch up your wardrobe your friends are like ‘ummmmm’ but they mean no harm and all you have to do is DO IT. When I started wearing vests all the time people were like ‘so, you’re really embracing this gay thing, huh?’ and i’d be like ‘yEA. YEA I AM’ and I’d LOL all over the place…I mean, I was super uncomfortable on the inside, but I just pretended I wasn’t. You want to spice up your wardrobe, spice it up, who cares why, how or who gave you the collar…
or you could always say ‘like my collar? i’m gay…soooooo’ and then see what happens??
Kristin Says:
Here is the thing. I don’t understand why wearing a collar has to be classified as risque attire…it isn’t like you are wearing assless leather chaps to the grocery store, you know?
Here’s the other thing. Yes, when people see a boy wearing a leather bondage collar they may automatically assume that he is a gayboy. That is their problem. Your sexuality is your business, and if your friends are like, “Dude, you wear a leather collar but you still say you don’t like boys in your bed? PSHHHH,” you can be like, “Well, Tom, I am not sure if you are aware of this, but having a piece of leather in the vicinity of one’s neck doesn’t force that person to be attracted to boys. Anyway, I don’t go around asking who you bone all the time, so calm down.”
You don’t have to justify anything. You should wear what you want to wear, and that’s that.
One more idea: if your friend is like, “A LEATHER COLLAR?!” then you should look back and respond, “NIKE SNEAKERS?!” (or some other mundane article of clothing that they are wearing)
That’ll shut ‘em right up.
