“hey ladies,
so im a guy, and i know youre probably like "why the fudge is a guy on this site?" Well here's the thing, i recently asked a girl out, and she sort of didnt answer me and when she finally did DAYSSS later, she said she's a lesbian....but she also that i can change her mind if i try hard enough, how the fudge do i change a lesbians mind and make her like me!? And if youre wondering why i care, she's the best girl ive ever met. she makes me smile just by looking at me, i need her, and i have to change her mind. please help me out.”
-Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
The fact that you say ‘how the fudge’ makes me want to marry you. So, you’re headed in the right direction.
YOU GUYS. This girl WANTS to be turned…which by the way…is not a real thing… you can’t ‘TURN’ someone. If she wants your bones and body (and personality and brains), you are SO GOLDEN.
If she wants you to ‘TURN HER’ (vomitvomitvomitthisisnotreal) she basically wants you to sweep her off her feet, do a bunch of cute things, be a little aggressive in the bedroom and watch romantic comedies when she wants to.
Be yourself. She already likes you.
Kristin Says:
I agree. If it was possible to “turn” someone, you would have just witnessed Dannielle and I throwing down to see who could win your favor. For the record, I would have won the fight easily…since Dannielle screams bloody murder at the sight of a baby caterpillar. So basically, Anonymous, you and I are now dating.
After you break up with me for your true lady love though, I advise you to do the following:
1. Drop little nuggets of sexy talk in your texts/chats/convos – this will ease her into the inevitable boning.
2. Don’t undermine either of your sexualities by joking about “turning” her…she may have only known how to identify as a lesbian up until now, but that doesn’t mean she was WRONG, per se, it just means she (and you) are exploring the fluidity of real life sexuality.
3. Get her to somehow see that you asked us a question here, because if she has the ability to read this and NOT kiss your face, I don’t think anything else can be done.
4. That being said, don’t let her play mind games with you. Some exploration and hesitancy is to be expected – but if she keeps giving you the run-around, move on. Just because she makes you smile doesn’t automatically mean she is the best thing for you.
THAT being said, I hope she is!
If you get married Dannielle and I would like to be invited to the wedding. Dannielle wants the vegetarian option and I want the steak.
“this might be lame, WHAT EXACTLY IS LESBIAN SEX? what do you do. how do you do it. how should it be brought about. help? please.”
-Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
It can’t be explained b/c it’s magical and can only be brought about by spells and potions.
Kristin Says:
“How should it be brought about,” is my favorite part of this question, and so I will answer that part by saying, “By getting naked.”
Listen. There is not one, easy definition of having sex for anyone, so would you all kindly put away your textbooks, take off your clothes, and just have a good time?!
Maybe a diagram of the human vagina will help.
PS. I am sorry to joke. I know this is confusing for so many of you, and at one time it was confusing to me, too, but the thing is, there isn’t an answer. You can use your hands, you can use your mouth, you can use a vibrator – I, personally, do not draw lines between what is and is not “sex,” and I don’t think you should, either.
“So I've been with one woman, we're both young, and somehow never talked about or used protection (dental dam). The idea seemed to be like, "hey we can't get pregnant or anything so who cares?!" plus we didn't think it would feel very good with it. I've asked some of my other lez-friends and they don't really use protection either. Is that normal, or are we all jut really messed up? Do all lesbians use protection?”
-Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
Here’s the thing, Anonymous, from what I’ve read/heard, most people in general (regardless of gender/sexual pref) don’t use protection. Which is why so many people have diseases and babies they can’t take care of. Man, that shit spreads so fast, too.
I realize you can’t get pregnant, but you never know what you CAN get. So, yea, not using protection is dumb. I can’t run your life or tell you what to do. If it feels better one way, and you’re going to do it that way, I can’t change your mind. But at THE VERY LEAST, be honest with each other. Get tested regularly, and don’t f around with strangers.
If you’re not gonna gloveb4love, you NEED to know who/what is about to be in you.
Kristin Says:
This is probably a really great question to answer on the Saturday of NYC Pride, since it is the one day of the year where all of the ridiculously attractive lgbtq’s come out of their hiding spots and want to bone. Hopefully this will save some of you from herpes, chlamydia, HPV, HIV, etc. You can thank us next time you see us…that is, if you heed our words of advice and DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH PEOPLE WITHOUT PROTECTION.
You are 100% right, anonymous, most lesbians do not use protection. Most people do not use protection in all the moments when they should, but I think lesbians are the most at fault because of that whole “no penis in vagina or butt” thing. If you are in a committed relationship with someone who you trust, and you get tested, and you want to go without, yes, you have taken nearly all the precautions that you can, and that is great – just know that you are still at risk (people, unfortunately, do cheat on people that they love).
If, however, you are out at the Pier Party tomorrow night and you meet the hottest girl you have ever seen and she buys you a beer and then grabs you by your belt and says, “Take me home,” TAKE HER HOME, but protect yourself. I don’t care how much you have had to drink, I don’t care how clean she looks or if she has Meyer’s Scented Hand Soap in her bathroom, protect yourself.
When you wake up in the morning and you don’t have to worry (as much) about your health, write us an email thanking us for being forceful with you. Your life is pretty important, and it would really, really suck to have to carry around a disease for the rest of your life just because you went down on some hottie at NYC Pride 2K10.
“I'm a girl who has only ever had sex with men. I'm really attracted to women but I've never had sex with one and the thought of it makes me nervous.
My stupid question is: when does lesbian sex end? With guys, they have a pretty set endpoint, but with girls (for me, at least) I can keep going and orgasm a ton. Do you have to just awkwardly be like "uhh done kthx"?”
-Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
What sucks about this answer is the fact that there isn’t really an answer. Like, I’m sure one night you and a hot chix can bone for 5 hours straight, while the next night you’ll pull out the married couple ‘bone-til-we-YOUKNOW-and-go-to-sleep’ (kristin uses multiple hyphens a lot and i wanted to try it and i don’t like it just for the record).
This is a completely subjective thing. One couple will say ‘about 15 minutes and you ‘HOOHOO’ once,’ whereas another couple will say ‘oh man until you’re exhausted!’
Just take it slow and have as much fun as possible, you’ll be in the heat of the mome’ and at a certain point she will look you in the eye and kiss you passionately and whisper ‘thank you’ ala THE L WORD… and then I’ll scream b/c I always scream when that happens on THE L WORD.
Kristin Says:
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
I am so sorry, but I had to get that out before continuing. I fucking love Dannielle and sometimes her answers make me keel over into a pile of lesbian laughs. Now that THAT is out of the way, let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you…and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things THAT. MAY. BE.
…I’ve had a few glasses of wine.
OKAY. Lesbian sex NEVER ends, but yet, it totally just finds a way to end, so don’t you worry. The thing is, it isn’t awkward to ask your girl if she is up for more, or if she is satisfied…that is just the way sex goes! Most people tend to be really into having sex because IT IS FUN, so like, after orgasm (or ‘HOO HOO’) number one, just be like, “Can I please keep doing that?!” Or…just keep doing it. If she gently stops you, that means she is spent. If she doesn’t, then she’s not. See how easy that is?!
As far as you are concerned, just try to feel out the situation. Having three or four orgasms is not at all unheard of in a lesbian sex romp, so if she seems like she has the stamina to keep going,let her.
Also, not everything has to hinge on the hoo hoo. Sometimes, things can just feel really fucking great without an orgasm, and that is fine, too…just check in from time to time and say sexy-voiced things like, “I love touching you and could do this all night, so just let me know when you’ve had enough…”
SEX IS THE BEST, YOU GUYS.
“Penises disgust me, is this true for most lesbians or just me?”
-Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
They don’t DISGUST me, but like, i don’t want one in me….sooooooo.
I know a lot of gay guys who are straight scared of Vaginezies. So, it must be a similar thing.
I mean, i’m terrified of bugs, like all bugs…and I know not everyone is terrified of bugs, so it’s gotta be the same sort of thing with a peeweedo.
Kristin Says:
Aesthetically, this must be true for everyone on the face of the planet. Mechanically, though, I’d think the penis would have a lot of fans across the spectrum of sexuality…I mean, it can do some pretty fun things?
There is only one way to figure this out: Someone must start a Facebook page for Penis, and see how many “likes” it gets.
