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"Hi, I recently went to a Rainbow Youth Night in my local area and saw someone I knew from school. The thing is, they introduced themselves to my friend with a different name than the one they are know by at school(with pronouns they,them). I would love to approach this person and ask which name they'd prefer me using because I'd hate to be calling them something they're not comfortable with, I just don't know what exactly to say. Also I've been working up the courage to ask this person out so.."

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Kristin Says:

Oh this is great, this is just GREAT.

You see, because you have two lovely, totally awesome questions to ask! Here’s how it’s gonna go:

YOU: Hi, I have two important questions to ask you.

THEM: Cool, I love questions.

YOU: What name do you prefer I use for you?

THEM: Oh! Thanks for asking. I would love it if you called me Todd.

YOU: Awesome. So, Todd, would you like to go on a date with me?

THEM: Did Kristin of Everyone Is Gay tell you how to ask me out, because this is SO ROMANTIC. Yes, yes I would. *heart eyes*

BOTH OF YOU: *in love forever*

~ end scene ~


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"There's this girl that I like and I want her to know that I'm interested in getting to know her better. So I though about doing the whole "Hey, wanna get coffee sometime?" thing but I legit HATE coffee and like everything else (tea, Starbucks, you know). What is an acceptable causal meet up place for me and this super cute girl?"

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Kristin Says:

First of all, might I suggest that you begin by saying, “I have wanted to ask you to grab a coffee for awhile now… but I hate coffee. So in the interest of honesty, I was wondering if you’d like to NOT get coffee with me?!”

Then, maybe she will giggle or chortle or nervously tap her foot or roll her eyes. If she rolls her eyes, roll yours back and forget it. No one likes an eye roller. If she does any of the other things or signals in anyway that she’d like this dialogue to continue, then might I suggest:

GETTING ICE CREAM or if you don’t eat dairy GETTING DAIRY FREE ICE CREAM. I think I may have started off too strong with my ideas here, because I cannot think of anything that would be better than an ice cream date. Please stop reading and go ask her to ice cream.

Okay so you either hate ice cream (WHO ARE YOU EVEN) or the only ice cream store in your town is owned and operated by your ex (BUMMMMMER), so here are a few more ideas:

GOING TO A MUSEUM! Museums rule and sometimes they even have exhibits where butterflies land on you or where there are dioramas of moose (mooses?) and stuff. Come on. It will be so fun!

WALKING IN A PARK! SITTING ON A PARK BENCH! SWINGING ON A SWING SET! ANYTHING PARK-Y! Spring is here and even if your city is still a snowy-tundra, having a fun park adventure is almost always a good time. If you time it right (post-snow), you can even buy soft pretzels (if you live near a park big enough to have soft-pretzel vendors), or buy a pack of skittles to share while you walk & talk. Eh?!

LAZER TAG? Probably this is a little extreme but the thought of you being like “I hate coffee so the other casual activity I thought of that we could do is play lazer tag,” made me laugh really hard, so. You’re welcome.

DO YOU LIKE BOOKS? HOW ABOUT A BOOKSTORE HANG? Sorry if this is too nerdy for you but like, I love bookstores and bookstores need people in them so this is a win-win for society. You have a place to go with this girl, you can talk about your fave comics or books, you can each buy something and help support independent booksellers, what could be better??!?!

ICE CREAM. Ice cream could be better, probably, because ice cream rules. So, if she’s super pumped about ice cream you can make your SECOND date a bookstore and your third date a park and your fourth date going to a museum and then you can have your wedding at a lazer tag park.

I am so, so glad that we had this talk.

Best of luck / Invite me to the wedding,


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“How do I stop giggling and running away from pretty girls? It’s embarrassing and I’m an adult.”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Kristin Says:

I am about to change your whole world in a few sentences. Are you ready?

You see a pretty girl, you giggle, you run away.
Such is life.

Now… just turn around and WALK BACK UP TO THE PRETTY GIRL and say, “I am so sorry I have this thing where I giggle and run away from pretty girls.”

You see?
You see what I did there?

Even if you run away and giggle again, you’ve flirted! You’ve done it. It’s all going to be okay. You might even say a few more sentences the next time you return from a giggle-flee! If she’s meant to be, she will think it’s the damned cutest thing she’s ever seen (I’ve never met you and it sounds pretty damn adorable to me).

You probably just took your lemons and made a lemondate. Tada.


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“Okay okay okay, so y'all have covered how to be cute and such in coffee places, school, and random places and such. But how in the world do you get someones number at the gym, when you’re all sweaty and gross. Like what do you do when you see a cute human walk in and you’re like 'NO WHYYY,' because you look a hot mess.”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Kristin Says:

Okay okay okay, I’ve got this:

Bring a picture of your non-sweaty self to the gym, along with a pre-written note and a pen.

The pre-written note should read: “I would love to get your number, however the circumstances of my sweaty face are less than ideal. Please see the attached photo for a representation of more ideal circumstances. You can write your number below if you would like to get a coffee sometime or you can draw a picture of a sad dinosaur if you are not interested. Thank you.”

Have these items at the ready, and when cute human arrives, drape a gym towel over your sweaty head and walk (carefully) over to them. Hand them the note and the pen. Remain under your towel.

Good luck.


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“After skirting around the question all night, my friend and I confessed our feelings to one another. Only problem was the awkward hour that followed it. We didn’t kiss or make a move, and earlier we had been discussing how relationships in high school are weird because you probably won’t make it in the long run. Should I propose dating for our last couple years before college, or should we just stay close friends? I don’t want any regrets, but I also don’t want a resigned break up.”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Kristin Says:

First of all HOORAY, YOU DID IT! You said your feelings! Your friend said their feelings!! That means that before you started to wonder OMG WHAT WILL HAPPEN THO and scurried over to Everyone Is Gay for advice… you both felt that amazing firework explosion that happens when you connect to a human who you care about. That is the best feeling, and I am totally stoked for you both! Fireworks, fireworks, fireworks!

Now, as generally tends to happen with human beings, your heart was all *kapow kapow* and your friend’s heart was all *kablam kablam* and then your brains were like *screeeeeeeeeeeech* and then you both just looked at each other like:


I get it. I totally get it. However, the fact of the matter is that you have connected to this person and sharing that connection can (and probably will) be an incredible & important experience for you both, despite what may or may not happen after high school.

My answer, then, as is usually the case, is to talk more about your feelings, talk about the things you are afraid of, and talk about what it all means to you both. Set a timeline if you want, where you take three days or a week or two weeks to sift through things in your brains and hearts, both together and apart from each other. Then, reconvene and make out with each other! SORRY, WAIT. I meant, *clears throat* reconvene and talk about how you would both like to handle the situation as responsible adults.

Also know this: even if you spend the most incredible year with this human and you decide to go your separate ways after a time, that doesn’t have to be something that either of you regret. I have actually found that regret tends to happen much more when we choose not to do something for fear of “what might be,” instead of choosing something for what it is, right in this moment.


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