, , , , , , , , ,

"how do people dance sexy in clubs?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

This is how I dance:

image

The eye contact and smile is what really kills it, bc then everyone knows you’re having fun. I think a good way to start dancing sexy is to isolate, move just one part of your body, like this:

image

Hips = great choice. Also, get on YouTube and look up dance moves. Practice ONE COOL MOVE over and over, you can just sort of move your shoulders a bit and then bust this out every so often:

image

When all else fails… INVOLVE YOUR FRIENDS —

image

good luck!

Kristin Says:

The fact that you have come to us for lessons on sexy dancing is PRETTY incredible. That either means that you truly believe that we can dance sexily and/or teach others how to dance sexily OR that you want to stand in solidarity with two people who are as foreign to sexy dancing as they are to understanding calculus.

If you REALLY want to dance sexy in a club, my advice is to clamp on to another person like one of those teddy bear backpacks, but on the front, and just hold on while they move. Why does it have to be your responsibility? PUT IT ON THEM.

If you want to stand in solidarity with fellow humans who do not sexy dance on purpose (who can help an occasional accidental sexy dance, right?) — then here we are, with you. Dance using Dannielle’s aforementioned steps, and become an instant heartbreaker.

ALSO, NEWS ALERT, BREAKING, THIS JUST IN. SEXY DANCING UPDATE 2014:

image

share:

, , , , , , , , , , ,

“I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DANCE FOR HOMECOMING?!?!?!?!?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

OH GOD. ISN’T THAT SORT OF SOON? WHEN IS HOMECOMING.

*googles darren’s dance grooves video*

You can do a few things.

1) Get a friend and learn a few swing/shag dance moves (from the internet?)… Those are ALWAYS fun to pull out at a dance, and you look really professional, but all you do is hook your arms together twice… it rules
2) Jump Dancing – for fast songs, just jump up and down and close your eyes and bob your head… if you’re having fun, no one cares what you look like.
3) Funny Dancing – this includes moves like the Robot, the Cabbage Patch, the Running Man, Crypt Walking (poorly), the Lawn Mower, the Sprinkler, the Shopping Cart, etc.
4) Shy Dancing – standing in a group of friends and not really moving your feed, but swaying your shoulders and head back and forth very gently.
5) Don’t thrust your pelvis and you’ll probably be fine.

Kristin Says:

Does anyone actually ever learn how to dance? Besides professional dancers and Natalie Portman for that movie with the dead swans?

If you meant dancing to fast songs, I think the key here is not in learning actual DANCE moves, but just slowly working up the nerve to move as you want to move and not caring what other people think. It’s like… I just jump around and bop my head and mostly look hilariously funny and ridiculous, but SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE.My friends and I used to play a game where we would all impersonate our friends’ dance moves, AND IT WAS SO FUNNY BC WE ALL HAD VERY SPECIFIC RIDICULOUS THINGS WE DID. WHO CARES. YOLO. ETC.

If you mean slow dancing, that is a cakewalk. Just get really close to and wrap your arms around a consenting person and then sway until the song is over.

Moral of the story: The less you THINK the better you’ll DANCE.

Also, I do agree that when all else fails you can just do the Robot and the Sprinkler, get some punch, repeat…

share:

, , , , , , , , , ,

“My girlfriend loves to dance. And all our friends love to dance. So whenever there's a party or any sort of gathering, there's usually dancing. I, however, hate to dance. Like, I'd rather eat poop. I flee from attention like that and the anxiety and worry it causes is not worth it when I'm having the opposite of fun. But then she looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes and asks me to dance with her, but I just can't do it. And it's starting to become an issue because she makes a huge deal out of it and is always like "can you believe my gf won't dance with me? How sucky is that?" But I think it's dumb that it's such an issue... am I right? What can I do to fix this (besides just dance with her)?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I mean, if i were you, I’d just dance RIDICULOUS, and make it a funny thing. Dancing doesn’t have to be serious, and you can also just jump around. OTHERWISE, talk to her. Tell her you feel really uncomfortable and you’re not completely sure why, but you just DON’T WANT TO.

Different people love to do different things and we don’t all have to love the same things to be in wonderful, loving, committed, beautiful relationships that totally work. We DO, HOWEVER, have to communicate these differences. JUST TALK TO HER!! Don’t I tell you guys this all the time?! People understand your feelings if you talk about them.

Tell her you don’t wanna dance, you feel weird when she tries to force you and it’s embarrassing when she calls you out in front of everyone. She’ll get it. I PROMISE*

Also, try saying “i hate dancing, i’d rather eat poop” and see what her reaction is… cuz like.. NO ONE wants to eat poop. Have you seen the human centipede?

*promise not guaranteed.

Kristin Says:

The solution to your issue has already been expounded upon in the above four paragraphs by the lovely Dannielle: You have to talk to her.  Not the kind of talk where you roll your eyes and are like “Mary Kate, I tell you all the time, I don’t like dancing. Just CHILL,” but the kind where you really show her how uncomfortable and sad it makes you feel.  You have to get a tiny bit of trembly-lip going and be like, “Baby, I wish more than anything that you had a girlfriend who would dance the night away with you, but that just can’t be me.  I don’t like to dance, but I love you…so is there any way that we can still make each other happy without the dancing part?”

I had this exact problem in one of my past relationships.  I LOVE to dance my face off, you guys.  When Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Since You’ve Been Gone’ used to come on at the bar, I would literally knock everyone out of my way so I could do a full head-banging dance montage.*  Most times, my girlfriend would just laugh at me from the sidelines…and at first it drove me nuts that she wouldn’t come and help me with the more complicated dance moves that the song required, you know??  After awhile though, I accepted the fact that she loved to watch me make a fool of myself, and that she was enjoying herself even though she wasn’t dancing alongside me.

What I am saying is, as long as you are a good sport about your girl having fun, and you are honest with her, I think you are going to be just fine.

*as featured in Webcast 20

share: