"Why is 'being comfortable with yourself' like the hardest thing ever?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
Because the world is set up to make you feel bad so that you buy things to feel better.
You’re fat, buy a gym membership. You have wrinkles, buy this facelift. You’re trans, buy a new body or we won’t agree that’s your real gender.
“Being comfortable with yourself” isn’t actually about how you feel. It’s about how people perceive how you feel. That is very fucked up, but that is why is it so hard. There aren’t very many people putting out magazines, movies, TV shows, and music about how wonderful we are as individuals.
AND – There really isn’t a ton out there that actually allows you to see the world is painted a certain way and set up for the success of only a few, and that things are put in place to make 99% of people feel absolutely awful. You are having trouble feeling comfortable in your skin because you grew up in a world that desperately hopes you feel that way. If you feel uncomfortable you won’t stand up for your rights, you won’t go after your dreams, you won’t question authority, you won’t try. This society is hoping you won’t try. It’s unbelievable.
I think the best way to get out of this rut that we’ve put you in, is to recognize it and adopt the mantra, “fuck those people.” Who are those people YOU ASK?! Those people are all the people that make you feel judged. If you have those people in your life, get em out. If you have friends who make fun of you, who make your emotions feel invalid, fuck those people. If you have family members who only call to make you feel guilty, who blame you for their unhappiness, fuck those people. If you’re shopping in the men’s section and someone is looking at you weird, fuck those people. If you’re talking about minimalism super loud and people in your fave cafe are laughing at you, fuck those people. You don’t want people like that in your life, so don’t let ‘em in.
Spend your time and energy with people who make you feel like being yourself is the only way to be, people who support you, love you, inspire you. Work on things that make you feel great. Work with people that make you feel great. Stop wasting time on people and things that make you feel terrible. You will feel comfortable when you have dedicated yourself to being the happiest and healthiest version of you. You can have your version of the best life, a life where you’re truly comfortable. You just have to do it.