“So I’m visiting my extended family for Thanksgiving, and I’m staying at my aunt’s house. She and my uncle already know I’m gay, but the rest of the family still doesn’t (or at least I haven’t told them yet). What are some funny, not-to-awkward ways to come out to my family at Thanksgiving?”
- Question submitted by thegingerjew
I’m pretty sure Kristin came out to her family by yelling “I AM SORT OF GAY, I THINK” over thanksgiving dinner.
So, you should just do that.
But if you don’t feel comfortable yelling, you could laugh uncontrollably and when your family is like ‘sally mae, are you alright?!” you can just say ‘well, isn’t it funny how gay i am?!’ and when they look at you confused you can say ‘what?’ and they’re like ‘are…are you…really gay… or…’ and you can be like ‘omg. i’m so glad you asked, i’ve been trying to figure out a way to bring it up ALL WEEKEND’
When it comes down to it… just make sure you’re fo sure at a place where you’re ready to come out to your entire family. You seem like you are, but for those of you who are heading home for the holidays and feeling like you should tell e’erone who you’re boning, DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO.
Coming out should happen when you’re most comfortable and HOW you’re most comfortable. If singing a song and posting it to youtube is the way to go, BY ALL MEANS go for it. If making sweet potatoes and spelling out ‘i’m a gay’ in marshmallows is how you wanna do it, PLEASE DO SO. If sending your family a mass email with a picture of you kissing a Taylor Swift poster is how it’s going down, PLEASE BE MY GUEST.
This is your life and your family and your coming out, so you gotta do you*
*phrase originated on Jersey Shore
Oh my god. Please, please, if you care about me at all, come out to your family via marshmallow. It would make my entire Thanksgiving complete. NOT THAT THIS IS ABOUT ME BUT LIKE COME ON.
Now, for you in particular, Ginger Jew, it sounds like this is not an incredibly stressful decision on your part because you just want to know a way to make it not-so-awkward. In that case, I would either just wait until someone asks you if you have a boyfriend, and then raise your voice really loud in a really uncomfortable and awkward way, fake punch that person in the arm, and say, “DID YOU ASK IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AUNT SALLY? THAT SURE IS A GREAT QUESTION BUT I AM ACTUALLY NOT INTO DATING BOYS AT ALL. I LOVE TO DATE GIRLS.” Then slowly look around the room and fake embarrassment and say, “Oops. Did you all just hear that?”
Now…to those of you who are going home and thinking about using this time with your family to tell them how it really is (i.e.: you like boobs, etc), let me just give you a few pointers.
1. Wait until dinner is over. Coming out over dessert or coffee is always more pleasant.
2. Don’t do it in a long line at Macy’s on Black Friday. There is no way to be decent about anything under such circumstances.
3. Remember that, despite an initial, less-than-favorable reaction, your family will sometimes need some time to process this new information. Don’t take the Thanksgiving Day reaction as an end-all be-all. Give it time.
4. Check out my Thanksgiving coming out story here.
5. Watch Ingrid Michaelson sing at the Thanksgiving Day parade.
…that last one was just for fun.
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