, , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I’m currently doing the hand holding kissy thing with the cutest girl in the world ever, but we have a problem. She is my girlfriend, but because I identify as non-binary we don’t know what to call me! *gasp shock horror* Because her calling me captain sexy pants in public isn’t exactly acceptable (IDK why tho) much love from the cap.”

- Question submitted by Anonymous and answered by Tyler Ford as a part of Everyone Is Gay: Second Opinions

Tyler Says:

First of all, I’m really excited for you because finding the cutest person in the world for you is a really lovely thing.

Now, your situation is actually pretty cool because ultimately, YOU get to decide what you want to be called. If you haven’t already, you and your girlfriend can have a brainstorming session in which you throw around the most creative names you can think of to figure out what resonates with you.

I’m a pretty big fan of “babefriend” or “babe” at the moment, because it makes me feel like the babe that I am. I also like to be called “heart,” as in “this is my heart, Tyler.” For me, it really depends on the relationship I have with a person – I wouldn’t want someone I’d been dating for two weeks to call me their heart, but it’s a totally individual choice. Half of the fun is just experimenting with terms and names. You could even end up with a few that you rotate with!

I’ll leave you with a few more examples just to get the brainstorming session started: “person” (if you watch Grey’s Anatomy, you’ll get the sentiment, but if you don’t it may sound too informal), “love,” and the ever-popular “partner.”

Good luck, Captain,



Click through to read more about Tyler and our other Second Opinions panelists!


3 thoughts on “Non-Gendered Partner Words

  1. I’ve had a similar situation with my partner and I refer to them as my datemate or partner (to outside others) and bae in most other situations. Those are the public ways I can introduce our relationship, we have other terms when we are around our close friends.

  2. My girlfriend and I have researched it (I’m the NB in the relationship) and there’s a fairly decent amount to choose from. Datemate, partner, cuddle buddy, enbyfriend, goyfriend, birlfriend, significant other, love, or just individual nicknames (we use chiot, the French word for puppy, for her and chicken for me)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *