advice, bdsm, dating, everyone is gay, kristin russo, lgbt, lgbt advice, relationships, sex
"My gf just told me that she wants to try sexitimes where I tie her up with rope. I’m totally cool with this on principle, but I’m also hella nervous that I am going to accidentally hurt her –– I’ve never done anything like this before! Also, I’m awful at tying knots. We both know it’s going to be awkward, but do you have any tips for making this experience at least a bit better than I’m envisioning?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
“Mostly want to answer because ‘I’m awful at tying knots’ LOLOLOLO” -Kristin Russo, your daily advice guru.
ANYWAY. One of the greatest things about being in a intimate and sexi relaysh with someone is the fact that you can tell them about all your fantasies and they won’t judge you. WHAT’S MORE, they may help you make those fantasies a reality. I think we all know doing things you’ve never done before is awkward, regardless of what it is that you’re doing. First time roller skating? AWKWARD. First time eating an oyster? AWKWARD. First time doing burpees? AWKWARD. First time tying up your girlf for sexi stuff? AWKWARD.
The good news is, you’re both aware it will be awkward. So, just go for it. Maybe have a craft night where you PRACTICE TYING THESE KNOTS TOGETHER and then once you get the hang of it be all “now let’s see if I can tie this on you *swagger look*” and you’ll giggle / tie her up and it’ll be less awkward bc you’re already giggling. You know?
GOOD LUCK THO.
Kristin Says:
I really did queue this question because “I’m awful at tying knots” made ma laugh for DAYS. Omg. Made ME. Not ma. I am not referring to myself as “ma” in the third person.
Moving. Along.
The two of you practicing tying knots together before trying this is the absolute most adorable and hilarious and wonderful idea I have EVER heard of. BRILLIANT. FIFTY POINTS FOR GRIFFINDOR* (*Dannielle).
To echo some of the above sentiments: it is totally okay if the first time is awkward! What you’ll find, I think, is that the first time you try something like this, it will be around 80% awkward and 20% awesome, give or take. Unless you are really good at being sexy… which like… who the f*ck is actually good at being sexy. Right? Then, the next time you try it, you’ll be more confident about the possibility of some awesome moments (bc you had that 20%), and so it might be more like 60% awkward, 40% awesome. With practice, you could potentially get to like EIGHTY PERCENT AWESOME. (Sorry to not say 100%, it’s just… there has to be at least a few tiny moments of awkward even when it’s the best sex ever).(This is real life, people).
You might also find that in your brain-heads, being tied up is the best fantasy, but in reality, maybe not so much. The best part about sexitimes is experimenting with new things, learning along the way, being open to new ideas and okay with laughing hysterically at the things that leave you both exasperated and naked with forty poorly-tied knots.
Have fun!
