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“My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years, and lately we just haven't been having sex often. I feel as though it's my fault for always being tired, or just not really in the mood. Any ideas on how to help that?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

SO, this is called ‘LBD: Lesbian Bed Death’


(a) that’s disgusting, why would anyone think of that, even!??! (b) it can be avoided.

I know cosmo tells you to keep things spicy, try some new toys, throw in some extra people, blow on her vagina. (DON’T EVER BLOW ON HER VAGINA)…. Here’s the thing though, anonymous, it has to be something YOU want. It has to be something you recognize and want to fix. You already said it yourself, it may be your fault b/c you’re tired. Pick a day, next week, when you will come home and bone your girl in half. Think about it all day, remember how steamy it was the first time, think about kissing her slowly, and feelin’ her boobies, and touching her naughty space. When you get home, keep thinking about it, until finally you’re in bed and you take all of her clothes off faster than she can say ‘oh anonymous!’

Kristin Says:

For reasons that shall go unnamed, I was eating a Santa Fe Chopped Salad at TGIFriday’s when I read Dannielle’s answer, and I almost choked on my iceberg lettuce when I read “touching her naughty space.” FOR GODSSAKE. My business partner needs to get it together, you guys.

Let me start answering this query by saying, I have totally been there. My last relationship lasted 5 years, and that Lesbian Bed Death is a relentless little bitch.  Here are a few tips to help:

1. Try not to dwell on it and make it something bigger than it is…just as quickly as you both lost some fire, you can easily round a bend and find a whole new valley of combustible sexy-time materials.

2. Use your imagination.  Just like Dannielle said, think back and remember the first time you kissed her, or the first time you pulled her shirt off – you were so nervous and hesitant and excited and nggggggg, right?! Pretend that you’ve never done those things before, and ask her to imagine right along with you. Trust me, it’s AWESOME.

3. Make a commitment to find one time each week to have sex outside of the regular “it’s Saturday night, let’s do this” sexy time slot.  Fuck being tired…force yourself to push past that heavy-lidded feeling and kiss her like you mean business. Your boner alarm clock will wake you right up.


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