advice, crush, everyone is gay, friends, friendship troubles, friendships, kristin russo, lgbt, lgbt advice, relationships, roommates
"(Tegan & Sara voice) Everything is awful / Everything’s the worst when you kiss your roommate / Everything is awful / When you wish you could date… So I live with two of my very closest friends. I kissed one of them last night and it nearly progressed a lot further. We can’t tell our other roommate because she’ll feel betrayed and might even move out. How do we live with ourselves? How do we prevent this from happening again even though we both kind of want it to?"
-Question submitted by Anonymous
Dannielle Says:
(Tegan & Sara voice) Everything is awesome / Everything is awesome / Everything is cool….
YOU FOUND SOMEONE THAT YOU WANT TO KISS AND THAT SOMEONE WANTS TO KISS YOU BACK. That is fucking dope. Are you kidding me?? People all over the world are falling over with envy bc we are all search for lips that match our own and you FOUND SOME.
I don’t understand why your roommate would feel betrayed?? People fall in like all the time???? You can’t help how you feel!?!? What does Roomie3 expect from the two of you?! Ultimate devotion?!
If the two of you are honest with Roomie3, she should make a little room for some understanding. It’s difficult living with a couple, for sure, but you JUST started making out, you aren’t a deep-committed-forever-relationships YET, you know?
Sit her down, tell her that stuff happened and turns out you like each other. If she’s weirded out, ask her if there’s anything you can do to make her feel more comfortable. You should totally respect her space and not hump each other on her vanity, or whatever, but you are def allowed to fall in like with your roomie.
Kristin Says:
(Tegan and Sara voice) All I want to get is / A little bit closer / All I wanna know is / Can you come a little closer?
THAT IS LEGIT GOING TO BE YOU AND YOUR ROOMMATE EVERY DAMN DAY IF YOU “CALL IT OFF.” SHE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE “BACK IN YOUR HEAD” AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE LIKE UGH “I CAN’T TAKE IT” AND THEN SHE WILL START MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU’LL BE “SO JEALOUS” AND SHE WILL COME TO HER SENSES AND BE LIKE “I WAS A FOOL” AND YOU WILL JUST MAKE OUT ANYWAY WHILE “LOVE THEY SAY” PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND.
Phewf.
You guys. You cannot stop feelings. The more you try to stop feelings, the more intense the feelings get, and the more dramatic everything becomes. You kissed your roommate. That means she is no longer just your roommate. You are going to keep making out. What happens from there I cannot tell you and shit might get sticky (lol) and maybe feelings will get weird… but you have to go through it.
Tell your third roommate. Feel free to show her this post, or just be like, “I MEAN HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FEELING” and she should get it and understand and chill. So long as you both act like responsible adults, this shouldn’t affect her very much at all. Respect lease agreements. Don’t make out during group TV time. Don’t leave your vibrator in the shower. Spend some time with her NOT as a couple. Do your chores. Tada.
Also you didn’t ask for this advice but DO NOT SLEEP IN EACH OTHER’S BEDS EVERY DAMN NIGHT. You must have respect for space in a situation like this and you MUST BE STRICT ABOUT IT.
Capesh?
Good talk.
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Thank you for this advice! I am in the same situation where I kissed my roommate and we clearly both are into each other, but everyone is telling me “no you can’t do that” which just makes the feelings more intense. Thank you for being the first to say “go for it”