To a straight girl:
“How do you know you’re straight, you’ve never had a girlfriend?”
To a straight boy:
“How do you know you’re straight, you’ve never had a boyfriend?”

Certain words may vary based on someones gender/sexual orientation… You get the gist of how to do this right???

The point isn’t to be sassy, the point is to show these fools why what they’re asking you is muy ridiculoso (spanish). If they’re asking you in a for-real-serious way and wanna have a productive conversation about it, you can literally say ‘I chose a label that made sense to me and stuck it on myself, sometimes i’m attracted to boys, sometimes i’m attracted to girls, bi means two, that’s two genders that i wanna get sexual with…bisexual…I’ll pick another word if it makes more sense to you?” and then they’ll prolly stare at you for a second and not blink.

Remember that whatever word you chose to define yourself, it is yours. What matters most is YOU being comfortable with yourself. Don’t feel the need to defend yourself with this people, because it really doesn’t matter. PLUS the more you defend yourself the more they’ll be like ‘well…if it’s how you really felt you wouldn’t be so defensive’ and then you’ll make this face   -___-   bc ARE THESE PEOPLE SERIOUS…people piss me off sometimes. Remember, you are all that matters.

I just had a vision of you, Anonymous, kicking over trash cans in your neighborhood and stealing cigarettes and dropping out of schools and being like, “DANNIELLE SAID I AM ALL THAT MATTERS,” and I got scared. Just for the record, MORE THAN JUST YOU matters, but what Dannielle is puttin’ down is that your identity is yours and only yours, and no one can tell you what it is or what it isn’t. Although, I guess if you are from Scandanavia with really pale skin and you say you are Cthulhu…

You understand what we mean. Okay? Okay.

Moving forward.

I would suggest making things uncomfortable for a moment in the pursuit of humor, and if this is a lady saying this I would reply, “WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN I THOUGHT WE WERE DATING?!” Then run to the nearest corner and scream-cry.

No matter who it is, you could always just say, “Generally I think the desire to make out with ladies is enough for me to know I want to make out with ladies, but if you’d like me to get you documented proof I can try for a photo-badge the first time it happens?”

Or, you could just say, “Who really knows anything, really?” and slap ‘em on the ass, wink, and walk out of the room.

Also, you could just say, “You’re right. I guess I also don’t know if I’m an ax-murderer or not since I’ve never actually ax-murdered,” and then make your eyes all squinty and creepy.

Our collective point is, as Dannielle said: you cannot prove who you are to anyone, and the bottom line is that your identity is something that you should be comfortable with for yourself. The less you argue about the finer points of who you’d prefer to bone, the less ‘they’ are going to feel the need to disprove you… and the more comfortable you will be simply living your life for you #withoutsmoking #orkickingovergarbagecans