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“I regret it now, but i bullied a 15 year old boy in my class for being gay. A group of friends started it and i went along with it. He tried to commit suicide and was luckily rescued. It shocked me and made me realize what we'd done. I regret it 100% now and i want to show him how sorry i am. He's moved schools now and although i know where his parents live, i dont think i should go round. How can i show him how truly sorry i am?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Aw, look at you! Tryna do the right thing!! I appreciate you.

If you know where he lives, why not send him a card or a letter?? Just to say you’re sorry slash you hope he’s doing well, if you could take it back you would, you know that what your friends said was 100% wrong…that kind of thing.


I think no matter what you do, whether you decide to show up at his house, send him a letter or drop by his workplace…he’s going to appreciate the gesture. Don’t expect him to forgive and forget so quickly and easily, but it’ll happen. PLUS you won’t believe how good it will make him feel to have an apology from you. You’re doing the right thing and it makes me want to squeeze your guts out (like with a strong hug, you guys).

Kristin Says:

Write him a letter.

Some might say speaking to someone in person about this is the most effective way, but I disagree.  If I had been that fifteen year old boy, and you came up to me and told me how sorry you were, I think I would be a giant mess of mixed emotion, and I would probably just sputter out something like, “Oh, yeah.  Whatever.  Thanks.”  Then, you would leave and I would feel like an idiot, and I would feel angry, and I would feel a hundred other things that I wouldn’t ever be able to share with you…because re-opening the moment would seem to difficult.

I am sure that this boy has an incredible amount of emotion connected with that time in his life.  Acknowledging that you are remorseful for your actions in a letter will allow him the chance to read your words in his own time, and digest them on several levels before deciding how to respond, if he responds at all.

What Dannielle said is correct, regardless of his response to your efforts, it will move him that you took the time to tell him that you are sorry.  Also, when we apologize to someone, we are not only helping to heal them, we are also helping to heal ourselves.

Thanks for finding the strength to realize that you have the ability to change.


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