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"My gf and I’ve been dating for 3 months now. I kiss her cheek and we spend hours holding hands but we haven’t kissed. I dream up romantic scenarios but I can’t make a move in public and when we’re alone we just smile at each other and giggle. Though I act super-confident I’m shy with her. At times I think she’s distancing herself but I might be paranoid and she’s just tired/busy. If it’s just that she’s not ready (I don’t think she’s kissed anyone before) then that’s fine, but how do I know?"

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

The only way to know is to ask. Especially if you’re totally fine with the fact that this could be the case. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?!

If I were you (which I basically am bc one time I spent 9 hours just staring at a girl I was dating and then finally had to countdown out loud before we kissed LOL), I would make it cute / funny. This is partially because it will make both you and her more comfortable, and partially because I can’t deal with real emotions like a normal human. So if I can AVOID emotions WHILST not avoiding emotions, that’s how I roll.

Next time you’re together giggling and staring into each other’s eyes, write on a post-it “can i kiss you” with three options 1) yup 2) nah 3) not yet. THAT WAY, she circles yes, and you just smash your face on hers immediately. She says nah, you know it’s not gonna happen. She says ‘not yet’ you know she’s not ready and you can re-evaluate a little later. OR you can talk about it, but if it’s something she doesn’t want to talk about, you’ve made it so you aren’t forcing her to talk about something that might make her uncomfortable, BUT you are putting it out there.

kiss! kiss! kiss!

Kristin Says:

-The Little Mermaid

I agree with all of what Dannielle said above, even though I know you are like GREAT IDEAS GUYS TOO BAD I AM FROZEN AND SHAKING AND MIGHT PEE MY PANTS.

We KNOW how scary it can be, we KNOW that it isn’t easy, but… we also know that the chances of you taking a risk, asking her if she wants to kiss you, or doing anything else adorable that Dannielle has suggested above is going to lead to you TOTALLY KISSING HER MOUTH and you will both be like EEEEEEEE and it will be like OMMMGGGGG and you will stop being mad at us and probably buy us a pony as a token of thanks, or something.

You know?

Alternately, in sticking with The Little Mermaid theme, you could say to her next time you hang out solo: “Oh man, so like, I heard this song and it made me think of you. Do you want to hear it?” Then stare at her, press play on “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid, and don’t break eye contact ‘til you’re kissing. Eh?


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One thought on “How Do I Initiate The First Kiss?

  1. So, I just want to say I just experienced this – I was making all of the first moves and she was kind of letting me take the lead, but eventually I just said “So, when were you planning on kissing me?” And she said, “When I feel like it’s the right time.” And the day after that she said, “Okay, look at me for a sec,” and I did, and she kissed me. I think just saying it (which is scary) is a good way to go, because then you’re pretty clear about it and you can talk about it if need be (i.e if one of you isn’t comfortable or sure you’re ready, etc.) 😀 GOOD LUCK!

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