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"Have you ever felt really small and like nothing you do will ever matter?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

The short answer is yes.

The medium answer is we are (as human beings) the tiniest blip on the map of the universe and technically we DON’T REALLY MATTER AT ALL.

The long answer is very personal to me. A while ago I got really down on myself. I was in a relationship that made me feel dumb and uncool, we were running into a thousand snafoos at everyoneisgay, I was having family issues, and I felt completely unsettled. I was texting with a friend of mine who was like “dude, you’re doing good for the world and that’s the entire point.” Here I was, feeling like I didn’t matter, feeling small, feeling like no matter how hard I tried I DEF wasn’t good enough, and I wasn’t even capable of recognizing the bigger picture.

I hate to just spit out “we are all connected,” but it’s true. Think about the environment and how shit works. We all need each other to survive. Humans can’t live without food and oxygen, food and oxygen don’t exist without plants and animals, plants and animals don’t exist without sun and water, etc. That’s a dramatically simple way of stating it, BUT the point is we all have our place and our purpose whether you believe in “having a purpose” or not. The goal here is to leave the world a little better than how you found it, whether it’s working to better the environment, working with struggling youth, rescuing animals, making someone laugh, teaching your friend how to knit, or raising a kid with a strong head on their shoulders. Who cares how you do it, just try to do SOMETHING positive at SOME point, because we are all in this together. Whether or not you want to get into it, that’s all it is. One earth, y’all (sort of, things are confusing bc #cosmos). We essentially share a giant apartment and all have to work to NOT be the asshole roommate. You aren’t small and you do matter. Regardless of how you SLICE IT, you’re here, so you matter.

Kristin Says:

I think that this question and answer embody one of the biggest struggles that nearly every human faces in their lifetime. We know, on some level, that everything we do infinitely huge and microscopically small all at the same exact moment. It is absolutely bonkers. And absolutely terrifying. And absolutely beautiful.

Yes, to answer your specific question, I have felt really small and like nothing I do will ever matter. I have felt that way, if only temporarily, in every phase of my life — and that includes this phase of being my 33-year-old self. The fact that I still feel this way on occasion is something that is interesting to me, and might be interesting to you as well. I know on some level that I am making a difference. I know that these words reach people and inform choices and actions that I will never know about, and go on to continue to inform things… probably even after I am not here any more. I know that Everyone Is Gay is helping continue a conversation that is essential to human equality and kindness. And yet. I still have plenty of days and weeks where I don’t know what I’m doing, or why I’m doing it… and where I feel so small that I could just cry for days.

That be interesting to you (as it is to me) because the fact that I know I am changing things on a large scale while simultaneously feeling incredibly small dismantles the fear that feeling small means we are small. Or, perhaps, it just proves that no matter how ‘small’ we may actually be, our power is infinite.

You know how ants can carry like one gabillion times their body weight? I feel like humans can do that same thing, except instead of it being a gabillion pounds of food for our families, it’s actually a gabillion pounds of moving, breathing, living change.

So… yes, we feel small, too. All of us.
And, despite that, the things we do — the things each and every one of us do — are impactful and important in ways that we never be able to fully comprehend.

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