"Why am I embarrarssed by the fact that I’m gay?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
Prolly b/c you’re not used to it and people look at you funny and society doesn’t believe in love.
No, but srsly.
We were all raised KNOWING that straight was right and gay was wrong…I mean, it’s totally not and as you grow up and get comfy in your own skin and fall in love over and over, things settle down.
I was embarrassed for a VERY LONG TIME. I never told anyone. It took me 4 months to fess up at a job. And that’s what sucks… i felt like i was FESSING UP. Is fess up a real thing? Is that how you spell it? Where am i?
The point is, getting comfortable being a total gaywad takes time, but it’ll happen. You’ll get to a point where you realize no one REALLY cares. You’ll take a deep breath and practice a speech for a long time and finally “ADMIT” to someone “I’M GAY” and stand proud and they’ll be like ‘…ok…do you want a cheese stick or not?’ and you’ll be all ‘wait? you don’t care?’ and they’ll be like ‘i only care if it’s in the way of this cheese stick discussion, which, right now it is, so i’m actually mad at you’ and you’ll both laugh and you’ll yell ‘YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND’ and then things might get a little awkward…but you’ll get over it.
You’re the best. Being gay doesn’t define you. Remember that.
First of all, I would like to stand with you, proudly, as a member of the community who cannot spell ‘embarrassed’ correctly. It takes me three tries every time I type it, and so I want to make sure you do not feel judged. Whoever invented that word is the worst.
Second of all, I agree with some of what Dannielle has said above, but not all of it. I do agree with the why. Most, if not all of us, have gone through a period of time where we feel ashamed about our sexuality. This is because we do not have the ability to see ourselves in most of the world around us; magazines, television shows, songs on the radio, you name it…popular culture is almost entirely comprised of heterosexual pairs. Boys singing about girls, ladies sleeping with mansies, divorces, break-ups, affairs, nearly all of it orbits around a boy/girl dichotomy. Heterosexuality is almost always assumed. That forces those of us who are not heterosexual to have to clarify who we are, or correct the standard assumption. It isn’t fair or right or fun —- but unfortunately that where we are at the moment.
Sure, you will find that some of your ‘coming out’ conversations go exactly like cheese-stick example give above. Some, however, won’t go so swimmingly…and you may be made to feel even more embarrassed about who you are. This is what I need you to remember, though: heterosexuality is not the ‘norm.’ We live in a world that pushes things down our throats and then asks us to spit them back up looking just the same. This website alone is testament to the fact that none of us are as simple as boy-meets-girl.
Be strong in who you are, and remind yourself at every turn that your strength will bring people into your life who appreciate you. The more you work at understanding that we are all infinitely more complex than the world sometimes allows us to be, the less embarrassed you will feel.
**Question originally answered on December 3, 2010**