"You have one girl who has never been with a girl before. You have a queer girl who has never been with a girl before. These two girls kiss. Now they are both queer. They are both confused because they both are now in a foreign relationship and don’t know how to ‘do it.’"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
Here is the thing about ~~sexual relations~~… it is different with every person, it is new with every person, it is confusing the first time.. for every person. I think your situation is dope because you’re both starting in the very same place. You aren’t super aware of the things you want and neither is your gal. So, first, TALK ABOUT IT. Second, TRY SHIT. Third, BE SAFE.
Re: talk about it, seriously. It is that simple. Talk about things you’ve thought, things you’ve watched, things you’ve fantasized about, things you’ve wondered, things you’ve done when you’re alone, things you’ve done with other people. Talk before you do it, talk while you’re doing it, talk after you do it. Take it slow, ask questions.
Re: Try shit. After you talk about shit, try it. How TF is anyone supposed to know what they like and what works for them if you don’t try? It’s your first time together with all this jazz, so just try. Leave room for giggles and buy the books with the stupidly cheesy titles.
Re: BE SAFE. Get real, yall. You’re exchanging fluids. You’re trying new things. Be safe. Use protection, use safe words, be honest with one another.
and have fun.
Lucky for you both, I watched several episodes of Seinfeld this holiday weekend which, as you well know, is the encyclopedia of sexual knowledge. Here is a relevant quote:
Elaine: Hey Jerry when do you consider that sex has taken place?
Jerry: I would say when the nipple makes its first appearance.
So, there you go.
Each of you show the other a nipple and you’ve done ‘it’!
I’m sorry… I am SORRY. I just really wanted to use the nipple quote somehow and you gave me a decent segway opportunity. Dannielle hit you up with all the relevant knowledge, and I will add a tiny bit more:
There is no such thing as ‘it.’ You know what I mean? It’s like… this cultural phenomenon that is based on procreation and purity and shit, when in reality Sarah might consider having sex anything that results in an orgasm and Alex might consider having sex anything that includes penetration and Susie Anne might consider having sex anything that includes feeling like she had sex.
Talk to your human. If you aren’t good at talking face to face because you get a little FLUSTERED, then gchat or text each other about things you might want to do. Maybe go buy some toys together and explore things! If you don’t want to go to a store in person, check out Babeland online… they even tell you how to use things!
The bottom line is that you define what ‘doing it’ is for yourselves and each other, and that definition might change over the course of time… or you might just stop caring about what’s what and be totally stoked on having all sorts of naked (safe) fun together.
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