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“Whats the proper etiquette when bringing a lady home to bone but your roomate is there. I mean she knows im gay so thats not a problem but like i feel weird just dissapearing to my room with my girlfriend, cause i mean of course she knows whats happening. i guess its just weird for me because this is my first roomate. and we arent super close we are just friends of friends that both needed a roomate.”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I meannnn, if you have separate rooms BY ALL MEANS GET YOUR BONE ON! If you don’t have separate rooms, things can get mad awks. If you’re sharing a room with someone you should introduce the ‘scrunchie on the door handle’ method…. Where you put a scrunchie on the door handle if you’re gettinDOWNTOBUSINESS. I know that scrunchies aren’t cool anymore, so maybe people are putting vests on doorknobs? or like… thick rimmed glasses? I don’t know what you kids are putting on doorknobs these days, but there’s gotta be SOMETHING.

You made it seem like the two of you don’t share a room, so, I don’t really understand the problem, unless you’re just embarrassed that you like to have sexi? CUZ I MEAN EVERYONE DOES IT (at some point). You just walk in to your apartment, wave to your roommate, maybe introduce your boo and head on back to your room. Who cares if she knows you’re getting laid??

Just don’t scream really loudly and make her feel weird, you’ll be fiiiiiiiiiine.

Kristin Says:

Oh helllll yeah, don’t worry about it.  Just like that book, “Everyone Poops,” everyone has sex in their bedrooms when their roommate is home.  Well, most people.  So, if your roommate is uncomfortable, that is her problem.  There are some things that you can do to make it less awkward.  Here is a short list:

a) Play some music or put on a TV show so that your roommate can pretend that you are watching the Cosby show and not participating in Bonefest 2010.

b) If you decide to play music, don’t play Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On.”

c) If your boo screams (because you are SO GOOD at sexytime), scream back and then shout, “OH MY GOD I LOVE WHEN WE HAVE SCREAMING COMPETITIONS!”

d) Put a pillow over your vibrator if you don’t have music/TV playing.  OR, make sure that a buzzing noise is always coming from your room so she won’t know the difference.

e) Don’t have sex in the kitchen, on the living room floor, or in her bed when she isn’t home.

I should really write a “how-to” book.

PS: Roommate has two “m”s and disappearing has one “s” and two “p”s. #humanspellcheck


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