"Soooo my roommate has no respect for my personal space/property. Not only does he come into my room at any time he pleases, he drinks alcohol out of all of my travel mugs, even though I’ve asked him to not. Today was the tipping point though, I found my everyoneisgay travel mug in his room, the letters scratched off (WTF?!?) What do I do?!?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
UHM. WHAT?!?! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.
Since you’ve already talked to him in a calm and responsible fashion, I suggest you do the following:
(1) walk into his room, spot your mug.
(2) point to mug and say “is that my everyone is gay mug” when he says “yes” slowly start breathing heavier until you’re making this face:
(3) say “didn’t… I … ask… you… Not… to…” and as you see his face change to fear / confusion and he starts to ask you what’s wrong, scream:
(4) yell “I HAVE ASKED YOU REPEATEDLY NOT TO TOUCH MY THINGS, YOU NEED TO (see below)”
(5) allow him to fall silent, ask for an apology, and say:
(6) tell him he owes you at least 12$ and walk out, but be sure to do a dramatic hair flip as pictured here:
Moral: Go in like Tyra and go out like Beyonce.
Kristin says nothing.
This is perfect, beautiful art. All of your answers lie within.