"Hey so I have a problem. I do drama and stuff and I’m in this play at the moment where I have to do an onstage kiss (more like makeout but whatever) which I’m fine with and is cool… except for the fact I’ve never actually kissed anyone in real life before I’m freaking out. Thoughts?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
If I were you, I would cultivate a relaysh with the person I had to stage kiss and I would be like “Fun sidebar: I’ve never kissed anyone so if I end up licking the side of your mouth I’m sorry.” THAT WAY, there are a few options.
1. Kisser says “Wait, really? Do you wanna practice before we have to do it in front of the whole crew.
2. Kisser says “haha. I’ve never stage kissed someone, so this’ll be fun”
3. Kisser says “omg, you can’t be serious… how old are you?”
The only one that feels dramatic is the last one, and if that happens you can just say “Yea, I was going for a Drew Barrymore early 2000s feel, but now you’re ruining that.”
FYI – You’ve all seen NEVER BEEN KISSED, right? IT’s the greatest. We all have to learn to make light of situations like this…They happen, if it’s not kisses, it’s something else and the only way out of ANY OF IT is by jokes (if you are me).
Okay okay hold on.
I am sure that you could totally do the Dannielle option and kick a lot of ass and be the best and everything would be great but I know that I wouldn’t find the courage to admit I’d never kissed anyone. So IF you are like me and you are all I CAN’T TELL THEM THAT BC I JUST CAN’T UGH, then read on:
First: the build up. I’d tell your KISS partner that you’ve never STAGE KISSED before #whitelies, and that you will probably start off a little awkward and get more comfortable as you get used to the whole idea. That takes ALL THE PRESSURE OF YOU, AND GIVES YOU TIME TO PRACTICE.
Second: the kiss. Here’s my advice. I think the more you think about what you are SUPPOSED to be doing with your mouth area, the worse a kiss gets. So, instead, just go slow, put your lips together, close your eyes, and see what happens. Your brain will be like SHOULD WE DO THIS OR THAT OR, and you have to take a sledgehammer to it (figuratively) to shut it up and just go with the proverbial flow.