"How do you deal with/accept peers who are more successful than yourself?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
I usually scream ‘YOU ARE LIVING MY DREAM LIFE’ at them and walk away??
Jealousy is a weird thing. Drake says that basically jealousy is love and hate at the same time, which makes perfect sense. HOWEVER, my dad says that successful people surround themselves with successful people. THEREFORE, if you have people in your crew who are mad successful, it is a wonderful sign.
I think we are all attracted to people and things we want slash we seek out people who have the qualities we want, you know? So, FIRST OF ALL, you brought these fools into your life for a reason and it’s great that they’re more successful than you bc it will inspire and challenge you. SECOND OF ALL, one persons success does not negatively affect another person’s success. There is enough to go around. Think about it this way: Rihanna having a completely sold out tour DOES NOT MEAN that Katy Perry does not have a completely sold out tour. YOU KNOW? They’re both pop stars, they’re both successful, they BOTH have sold out tours.
There is enough success for everyone, there are no limits to what you and the folks around you can achieve, etc. Use them as a resource! Ask advice, start projects together, set goals, try to impress them, whatever. Don’t NOT do awesome shit just because other people are doing awesome shit. Let their awesome shit make your shit awesomer.
Success is relative.
For some of us, success is equated with money, for others it has to do with family, for some it has to do with seeking inner peace and balance, and for some it is something else entirely or a mix of elements. What is at the end of any and all of those imagined successes, though, is happiness. We want to “succeed,” whatever that means to us, because we want to feel content, calm, and like we have accomplished something in this life. We do only get one chance at this, after all… so it only makes sense that we put pressure on ourselves to do the best we can.
Success, however, is never related to the comparisons that we make with our friends. Of course, our human brains loooooooove to compare, so it’s a tricky f*cking path to walk.
In the moments when I find myself looking at the things that others have achieved, I reflect in three ways:
1. I allow myself the feeling. You’re a person. It’s hard to see the things you want reflected in another person’s reality.
2. I think about the things that I have accomplished, or that I have, and why I am thankful for them.
3. I reflect on how I used to wish for these very things that I now have, and on the fact that, now that I have them, there is still space left for wanting. This is because success is never measured in things. It’s measured in our peace with ourselves and our patience with the process of getting to that place of peace.
Does that help?
I have so many feelings.