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"how do i tell my friends i met a girl on tumblr without them being like ‘uhhhh what do you mean you’re dating her but you’ve never met her?’"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I think the only way to make this not awkward is to pretend like it’s literally not even a deal at all. If I were you, I’d bring it up in the middle of a totally different conversation.

You: Wait, so you did see the X factor, or you didn’t?
DELILAH: I did… sort of
You: ohhh, see mygirlfriendwhoimdatingontumblrbutwehaventmetinreallife watched it but didn’t see the end where-
DELILAH: Wait what
You: I said she didn’t see THE END WHERE
DELILAH: No, who?
You: hmm?
DELILAH: I’m so confused.
You: she didn’t see the end…

See what I mean? Just confuse them so they don’t even know what questions to ask…

For real though, you have no clue how unbelievably common this whole thing is, i mean, it’s pretty UNBELIEVABLE. We spend all day on our computers, and we meet people, and we like them, and they like us, and we don’t want them to like anyone else, so we date. The end. It’s not a big deal. One day you will meet her in real life (IRL) and you will be so excited / awkward and your friends will be texting you ‘OMG HOW IS IT GOING IS SHE AS CUTE IN REAL LIFE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DID U KISSES?!!?’ Which will be so much fun.

Kristin Says:

I mean, if you tell them and they are like, “uhhhh what do you mean you’re dating her but you’ve never met her,” then you can respond, “Well, what that means is WE MET ON TUMBLR, and tumblr is a THING ON THE INTERNET WHERE YOU CAN PUT PICTURES AND READ ADVICE AND STUFF, and we both LIKE EACH OTHER A BUNCH and she is VERY PRETTY and so we are DATING which means that she likes me too and ONE DAY WE WILL GET TO MEET AND MAKE KISSES.”

That should clear up any confusion.

You guys – we date who we date and how we want to date, and ain’t nobody can tell you what is and isn’t real, or what is and isn’t right. Be confident in the fact that your feelings are valid, your choices are legit, and your path is totally wonderful. That confidence bubbles over and encourages other people to be like, “Ohhhhh I GET IT, that’s your life and it’s totally awesome. Cool.”

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"How I do ask the girl I’m seeing to be my official Facebook Status girlfriend?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

“Ey girl, I’m about to change my relaysh status on Facebook, you want summa this?”

or

“we dating or what? facebook wants to know”

or

“Look I asked a question on everyoneisgay.com and they answered it!” show her your computer and open your eyes real wide and stare at her until she’s finished reading it and say “get it?”

Kristin Says:

Get down on one knee at your next dinner-date OR WHATEVER YOU KIDS DO THESE DAYS, and say, “I know it’s only been a few months, but I was wondering…” and then pull out a ring case and on the inside have a Facebook icon instead of a ring.

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"I met my girlfriend on a dating website. I never told anyone, even my friends, that I had even joined a dating site because it’s not something I’m real proud of. So when I get the inevitable "so how’d you guys meet" question I just get really awkward and try to change the subject. How do I answer that question without feeling so embarrassed?!"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

You should just tell them the truth, because let me tell you how the conversation will go

Friend: How’d you meet TILDA?
You: uhhhh…actually…we met online
Friend: OMG SERIOUSLY, what site did you use?
You: okcupid
Friend: is that the gay one?
You: well, i mean, there ARE gay people, but it’s not like SPECIFICALLY gay
Friend: WILL YOU HELP ME SET UP A PROFILE TILDA IS SO COOL

…Basically…instead of trying to answer it without feeling embarrassed, you should just NOT FEEL EMBARRASSED, you know? I totally get you, it sounds so weird and creepy and strange and awkward, but the thing is IT ISN’T. It isn’t weird at all, literally 1 in 4 realtionships are started on the internet these days, and I’m willing to bet it’s actually closer to 1/2, bc think about all the people who have met on Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook and didn’t even use dating sites!! The most incredible people in my life I met on the internet.

I’m not ashamed because it’s nothing to be ashamed of… it’s effing epic and you should be oh so proud.

Kristin Says:

The fact that you are asking this question makes me think you must be as old as I am (#ancient)(#justkiddingim31)(#thatsnotancientright?), because everyone that I know who is under the age of 27 uses the internet for everything, including dating, without so much as batting an eyeball. Or an eyelash. Or whatever you bat.

At this point in my life, I would have to say that 98% of the single people I know use dating websites, and a whole bunch of the non-single people I know met their boo using OKCupid or HowAboutWe or IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer. There isn’t really a dating website called IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer… but if there was I would use it because it’s hilarious.

MY POINT IS. Dannielle is (as usual) completely right – the fact that you put yourself out there and met someone you are totally into is awesome, and something you should be proud of! Things are pretty different from 1997, when internet dating meant that you were in a chat room with old dudes pretending to be lesbians who love bodybuilders (who are probably also old dudes). The internet has become a huge part of the way we operate in the world, the way we communicate, and the way we interact socially with other human beings. No one should make you feel bad about using it as a tool to meet people, so you should just tell them your story without hesitation!

Also, if you REALLY don’t want to talk about it, just say, “I was in the grocery store and I couldn’t decide if I wanted store-brand frozen peas or organic frozen peas, and this knucklehead {point to your girlfriend} tripped over my cart and fell into the freezer while I was deciding.”

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“On my online dating profile, I recently changed my listed sexual orientation from "straight" to "bisexual" to reflect the fact that I am interested in women too, even though I am more interested in men. I thought it would be better to be honest. But since I changed it, I get very few messages. I think it is probably because people are afraid that a bisexual person can't be satisfied with just one relationship. Even though I am usually just looking for guys on the site, would it be dishonest of me to put that I am "straight"?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

The short answer is, no. It’s an online dating profile and the point isn’t to pour out every single feeling and detail about your life in 500 words or less, it’s to write down a little bit about yourself in hopes that someone will think you’re interesting enough to get to know even better.

When you’re filling out a profile ask yourself if these things are something you would tell someone you’ve just been introduced to you for the first time. Would you shake hands with RONALD-M-WEASLEY and say “Hi, I’m LUNA-T-LOVEGOOD, I’m bisexual and I work at Arby’s?” … No, you probably wouldn’t. You might get to the Arby’s part, but telling a cute dude you like that you’re bisexual will normally NEVER happen upon first meeting. And YOU GUYS, these online profiles act as your first impression on a human being you’ve never met.

Honestly, I’m surprised this question wasn’t “I’m bi on my online prof but all i get are requests for casual sex and threeways” bc that’s pretty much all I’ve heard about what happens when you change yr orientaysh to bi. You could always have one profile for boyz and one for gilrz. Also, if you are there to meet guys and you only want to meet guys, put straight. Who cares, it’s just a word anyway and if you want to have a long drawn out feminism-driven discussion about the word “Straight,” I’ll give you a couple of peoples emails and you guys can fight it out.

Kristin Says:

This is such a THING, you guys…and such an excellent marker of how anyone who falls outside the bounds of STRAIGHT or GAY has to deal with a pile of bullshit.  Okay fine, anyone outside of straight has to deal with a pile of bullshit…but what I am trying to say here is that I know a million people who have two separate profiles on online dating sites because of the fact that bisexual is still a stigmatized, doubted and judged category.

Now, on the one hand, I would love to say that if RONALDMWEASELY sees ‘bisexual’ and is a total stooge about it, you probably don’t want to date his stank ass anyway, but I think that might be a bit too narrow of a view.  The fact that boobs turn you on is really not integral knowledge for RONALDMWEASELY right out of the gates, just like that bitch up top said.
Making your profile straight isn’t dishonest, it’s dealing with a stupid box you have to check because so few people on this Earth can operate without sorting us all into categories.  I wish I could say that we are close to a place where that isn’t necessary…but we have a ways to go.  For now, check the box and have the real conversation whenever it comes up, if you think it is important.

Now, will someone start a dating website where we all just ask each other out on dates and go on the ones we want to?  Thanks.

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“I met this girl online (it's totes legit, I swear) and I'm fairly sure she likes me a whole lot more than I like her. But like, sometimes I REALLY like her, ya know, but other times I'm like ugh. She wants me to drive the 600 miles to see her, but I feel like she's not going to be what I expect... Advice?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I MEANNNNNN…

600 Miles. That’s like, a 10 hour drive.

You can do one of two things.

1. drive there and figure out whether or not you like her.

2. not drive there. not figure out whether or not you like her. continue to get bugged about driving there.

I mean, i guess there are more choices. nothing is really black and white. but having a relationship based primarily on internet and phone is HARD. it’s hard as fuck and it basically will thrive on the moments you can see each other IRL. So, if you want to do this, do it. if you don’t want to do it….don’t do it.

HERE IS THE THING ABOUT THE THING… if you’re already like ‘ugh’ sometimes and you haven’t even met her…maybe you should re-evaluataysh your relaysh. #ididthatforrhymingpurposes

I fully believe in meeting people on the internet. I know someone who met her husband on the internet and they’ve been married 10 years and have three kids and still make each other LOL. You could have met your soul mate on the internet #kristindoesntbelieveinsoulmates BUT LIKE your soul mate #tryingtomakekristinangry won’t make you go ‘ugh’ before you even meet her.

Either give her a REAL chance, or get real with whatchu feel ##rhyming.

Kristin Says:

You know what?  Don’t go and meet her.

You already think she likes you way more than you like her, and you are already getting irritated with her without ever having been in the same location…so.  I don’t think you even really like her that much.  I think she probably does some cute things and maybe she shows you her boobs sometimes and like, who doesn’t like cute things and boobs?  The problem is that those things aren’t enough to sustain a relationship, and they certainly aren’t enough to warrant a six hundred mile drive.

You are going to be annoyed before you even GET there, because it sounds like you already know in your gut that you don’t even want to go.

If, however, you still go because the boobs/cute gets the best of you, the only way it will be a successful trip is if you leave all of the “ughs” behind and allow yourself to experience time with her in the moment.  If you still feel like “UGH,” then just be thankful for the twenty hours of car time that you have to listen to Katy Perry and Ray Charles.  #thosearethealbumsthatdannielleandiwouldhaveinourcar

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