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“so i've been with my (amazing)girlfriend for over 3 years now. we both go attend the same university, and we just signed a lease for an apartment, which would be our first time living together, and i have this overlying fear that living with her will be the death of us. and that by signing this lease, we signed one more year to our relationship. how do i deal with my insanity?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I know I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again until our blog doesn’t exist (which will only be because it is too far in the future and computers don’t exist and we are all robots). You have every right to be afraid. You’ve worked hard to cultivate a wonderful and loving relationship. You’ve spent every night for three years wondering ‘your place or mine?’ You thought her roommate was sort of funny, and she wished your roommate would be a little cleaner. You could always cook at her place, but you guys ordered in at your place. You hated her movie selection but loved her DVD box sets of multiple forgotten about TV shows. She loved that you were the only girl who was smart enough to order cable which included showtime.

It’s the little things, it always is (and always will be) the little things. Moving in together is a scary and grown-up step. I mean, if we’re being totes honest, it’s been the demise of thousands of relationships.

That being said. You’re ready. You’ve been in love for three years. You’re ready to create new little things that you love. You can go in together to pay for Showtime. You’ll be able to watch her box set of “Northern Exposure” whenever you want. You can order the same pizza every Tuesday and hope for your favorite pizza girl together. You can create a chore chart, and she can laugh at you and the two of you can roll around on your floor. You’ll be able to walk around in your undies whenever you feel like it. You can burp really loudly after drinking OJ out of the container. You can create a new world that the two of you share. And honestly, Anonymous, you get the opportunity to fall in love all over again.

You can’t control the future or the past, don’t worry about it, think about it or long for it. Just live where you are, in the present. With the one you love. Fit your body with hers every night this year, because you can. You’re the luckiest person I know.

Kristin Says:


Isn’t she the fucking dreamiest sometimes?!?!?!

There is little to nothing that I could add to such stupendous advice, aside from the awesome word ‘stupendous,’ you know?  A tiny bit of extra to put in your insanity pocket: 1) Allow yourself to be scared, and talk to her about it – open communication is never more important then when you are facing a big change together; 2) Be patient in the first few months as you both adjust, you will work out the kinks, I promise; 3) Know that, the worst case scenario here is that you find out you aren’t right for each other, and in the unlikely event that that DOES happen, that is a very great thing to know.

You waited long enough, Anonymous.  I’d like you to imagine an army of lesbians cheering for you from the back of our U-Hauls.  Bravo, and may the force be with you.