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"What’s your advice for someone who has been dumped (by the love of their life) right before the holidays? How can I still enjoy it?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Take this time to connect with the people who matter to you. The great thing about the holidays is that you can catch up with old friends, talk to family members and see people you haven’t thought about in forever without things seeming totally weird.

One time I was going through a break up and I tried to reach out to a bunch of old friends just to be like ‘you know what i’ve missed you’ and they were like ‘soooo…what’s going on’ it was SO OBVIOUS something was wrong bc we hadn’t talked in forever. BUT THE HOLIDAYS YOU GUYS, they’re the perfect mask for your feelings and an incredible time to reconnect.

You can literally call anyone and be like ‘hey holidays are making me feel all nostalgic i just wanted to call and see how you’re doing!’ and every human will be so excited to hear from you. It’s also a great time to get away from absolutely everything. A lot of us go back home, go visit family, go to the mall, whatever. We all go out and do things we’re not doing everyday. Take some time for just you, get to know yourself better, go sit in a coffeeshop you’ve never been to and write or read or listen to music and be alone with your thoughts. It’ll prolly make you cry a little bit, but that’s okay.  A little bit of crying never hurt nobody, especially when that tiny bit of crying is in the middle of you hanging out and figuring out why you love yourself so much.

Kristin Says:

When I got dumped by the love of my life right before the holidays, I listened to “Winter Song” by Ingrid Michaelson & Sara Bareilles on repeat and cried and cried and cried. I also spent an extended amount of time at home with my family, and a whole bunch of time writing about my feelings and going to yoga. I invested myself in my new apartment and my new roommate. I painted my bedroom and I hung Christmas lights in every room. I got a giant tree and invited friends over to bake cookies and drink wine. I cried. I enjoyed the warmth and comfort of those closest to me, I talked about my aching heart, I went to music shows, I accidentally forgot about my heartache in small moments and still remember those moments today…

Don’t force yourself to “enjoy” the holidays, but rather challenge yourself to experience all of the things that are around you… the pain, the warmth of friends, the confusion, the wonderful array of Christmas movies, the cookies, the heartache, the scarves and mittens and hats… all of it. These holidays are going to feel different because you are also mending a broken heart, and that is okay.

Hug the people you love, allow yourself to hurt in those quiet, wintry moments where your heart spills over, remember that this pain is temporary (no matter how permanent it feels – and I know how permanent that ache feels), be thankful for the beautiful things that surround you.

12.24.2012
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"My ex asked me to get shammered with her over Christmas holidays… Do I read into that? HELP ASAP!"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I don’t understand what there is to read into.

She wants to get wasted and make out.

CONSIDER IT READ.

If you don’t wanna hook up with her, don’t get smashkerd with her obvz. If you DO wanna get smigtagged with her and totally hook up, do it and be fully aware of your emotions. The worst thing you can do is go into it pretending you don’t have feelings if you do OR PRETENDING YOU DO HAVE FEELINGS WHEN YOU DON’T AND THEN HURTING HER FEELZ. So, just check in with yourself, have a convo in the mirror and get schmickled with your ex based on what your brain says, not what your underpants feel… YOU GET ME?!

Kristin Says:

HOLIDAY BOOTY CALL ALERT WEEEEEOOOOOOO WEEEEEOOOOO WEEEEEOOOOOO

Dannielle is correct. If your ex says, ‘Hey wanna get schneckitty with me while we are both home for the holidays,’ that either means you are going to make out OR you are going to get too sheeshtered and then get overemotional and wind up fighting and calling your mom to pick you up because you still hate her guts and EVERYTHING IS STUPID. Odds are for makeout, but one can never trust the emotions of a shammerhead shark… know what I mean?

If you are home and bored and you know that you can deal with visions of her sugarplums without setting yourself up for an emotional disaster, have at it. If you know that you can’t kiss her mouth without another year of torment, DON’T DO IT. You know yourself, so just listen in and follow your gut. FOLLOW YOUR GUT BEFORE IT IS SHLOSCHTY THOUGH, BC A SCHMIBBITY GUT ONLY WANT TO MAKEOUT IT HAS NO REASONING OR LOGIC OR SENSE.

And to all y’all: Drink responsibly, don’t drive after drinking, don’t be an idiot, and don’t be an idiot. Cool?

#shammered #shmaskerd #smigtagged #scmickled #schneckitty #sheeshtered #shammerheadshark #schlochty #schmibbity

12.21.2012
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“My girlfriend and I are in our early 20s and have been dating for a little over a year. With Christmas coming up, should I buy gifts for her parents? How soon is too soon?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

One year I made presents for my GFs mom and sister and they were LIKE SO HAPPY YOU GUYS. I just took pictures of their houses / animals and pasted them on some stuff. It was a tiny bit of work with a whole bunch of love. It was really cool.

Have you seen the movie “The Family Stone” bc at the end Sarah Jessica Parker -who btw is the worst the WHOLE TIME – gives everyone in the family an amazing gift and then I cry for like the entire last 20 minutes of the movie and for another hour afterward… I’M SERIOUS. Small meaningful things are awesome, does your gf have a picture of her parents from forever ago? Get it framed and be like ‘i thought this would be cool’ or take a picture of them at Christmas and get it printed a few days later.

I like the idea of gifts for parents, don’t spend a ton of money or try to impress them. Do something small and sweet that will mean a lot to them. Even if you guys break up in three days, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE GF THAT DID THE THOUGHTFUL THING. You know what I mean?

If you think of something, go for it, but don’t try to go out of your way to give them something stupid like an all-in-one remote control… If you do, they’ll just look at you weird.

Kristin Says:

Oh my god. So much about Dannielle’s answer made me LAUGH SO HARD.

First of all, out of context, “I just took pictures of their houses / animals and pasted them on some stuff” IS SO FUNNY.

Second of all, then I laughed picturing you getting the exact same gifts from The Family Stone.

Third of all, then I laughed because I thought OMG IMAGINE YOU JUST ACTUALLY GOT HER THE PICTURE OF DIANE KEATON…

Oooooookay. Now that I have all of that out of my system (THANKS FOR STICKING IN THERE), I say: absolutely get them a gift! I agree that it can be something small and heartfelt, but I also think it can just be something small. One of my past girlfriends would always get a small thing of chocolates and a bottle of wine for my parents at Christmastime, and my parents thought it was the sweetest thing in the whole world. A small gesture to just say “Happy Holidays” conveys respect and love – and I think that if you and your boo are in love, it is never too soon.

Remember that money shouldn’t be a factor. Think about what you’d like to get for them, check in with your gf, and then totally do it. GIVING GIFTS IS THE ULTIMATE BEST YOU GUYS I LOVE CHRISTMAS EEEEEEEEEEEEE.

{christmas tree emoticon}{menorah emoticon}{snowman emoticon}{happy face emoticon}

12.14.2012
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"What do you get a newish girlfriend - who is really brilliant and cool - for Christmas without being dorky or too intense?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

SPOILER ALERT::::: I don’t know how to do anything without being dorky… so…

DON’T buy anything involving diamonds, gold or platinum.
DO buy anything involving an inside joke, her favorite tv show or justin bieber.

DON’T plan a romantic getaway.
DO plan a cute date night.

DON’T give here something you inherited from your grandmother.
DO give her something i inherited from my grandmother (like these).

DON’T get her sexy lingerie or edible underwear.
DO get her granny panties as a joke or everyoneisgay underwear (sold here).

DON’T propose marriage.
DO propose an L word marathon make out sesh ft. candy & popcorn.

Last but not least… DON’T think about it too much and DO have a blast.

Kristin Says:

THREE CHEERS FOR NOT OVER-THINKING!

{cheer} {cheer} {cheer}

I cannot tell you how many times I have been like, “Oh man, SNUGGLEPUSS (a new gf) would love to have this thing, it is perfect and I will get it for her,” only to then have the item at my house and start thinking about how maybe SNUGLEPUSS might not like this or maybe she will think it is too much or too little or maybe I am just an idiot and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So, then I tuck the gift away or keep it for myself and go out and get what I think is a better gift – which actually isn’t nearly as good of a gift because it came from the land of over-thinking. Then, a few months later I confess to my over-thinking, and SNUGLEPUSS is like, “OH MAN I LOVE THIS THING, WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE IT TO ME IT IS PERFECT!!!!”

The lesson here is: go with your gut. Walk around the mall or the holiday fair or the internet and just think about small things that might make a person happy. Yes, Everyone Is Gay underwear is a great start. Also, Etsy has a million tiny cute handmade things that are affordable and just say, “Hey, you are cool, Merry Holiday.”

Por ejemplo:

This journal OR these adorable mitten-glove things OR this tiny lil’ terrarium kit that you can make together!! OR OH MY GOD THIS

image

{SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE}

12.7.2012
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“My girlfriend is coming home to meet my huge family for Thanksgiving. All of the adults know already, but do I owe it to them to not be obviously gay so that the little kids don’t get confused?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I say in any family situation with any family member regardless of ages or genders or who’s around… lay off the PDA.

I understand wanting to make your LUUUVER feel comfy, but a small hug will do the trick and hugs aren’t super gay. AMIRITE?

I also think it’s a good idea to ask your family grown ups what they prefer. Giving them a quick call to say ‘hey I’m bringing CHASTITY to thanksgiving and I was wondering if it was okay for me to introduce her to the kids as my girlfriend or if you’d prefer something else?’ Not only will they REALLY appreciate that you asked, it’ll give them the opportunity to talk to you about it. Some might be uncomfortable, some might not care at all and some might say ‘I’M SO GLAD YOU CALLED, HOW SHOULD I EXPLAIN THIS TO MY 5 YEAR OLD?!?!’ Then you get to tell them that it’s actually easier to explain to kids the younger they are because they understand it immediately. If you say ‘CHASTITY AND HOPE love each other’ they say ‘ok cool’ and then they throw a block at someone.

It’ll be totally cool, be open with your questions and respect whatever it is that your family grown ups ask of you. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY.

Kristin Says:

I actually disagree with some of the stuff that Dannielle said up there, which NEVER HAPPENS, so this is mildly exciting. I understand the general context of being respectful of other people, etcetera, however, I think that you need to be comfortable around your family, and I know that we ALL know that the kiddies aren’t going to be confused if things are done in an open and honest manner.

Here’s what I say:

1. Act like yourself, and don’t hide the fact that you care about your girlfriend. Hold her hand if you feel so inspired, put your head on her shoulder when you guys are watching a movie, and tell the story about how you guys were at dinner for your anniversary when Brad Pitt walked in and then you both squealed silently and then couldn’t stop laughing. Act. Like. Yourself.

2. Be open to conversation with your grown-up family members. I don’t think you have to necessarily call them beforehand (though you can if this is what makes you feel best!), but when you get a moment aside with the parents of the babies, let them know that you are totally open to their input. You can say, “Hey, I am completely comfortable answering any questions that MICHELLETANNER and RAVENSYMONE have (#babies) about me and my girlfriend, but I wanted to know if you had any questions or if you preferred to answer those questions yourselves.”

The key here is your own comfort level. If your eyes bug out and you break into a cold sweat every time you hold your girlfriend’s hand around your family… then everyone else is also going to feel uncomfortable. If that is where you are at, then for now just DON’T hold hands! When I first started bringing ladies home, I never went anywhere near them in front of my family – because I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t comfortable. Now, however, if I have a lady home, I hold her hand and snuggle with her and feel totally at ease. You have to do what YOU are comfortable with, because your own level of comfortability with your relationship is what is conveyed to those around you.

GOBBLE GOBBLE.

11.21.2012
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