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"What are some good ideas for Valentine’s Day?"

-Question submitted by itsgreattobealive

Dannielle Says:

I love that you didn’t specify this question in THE LEAST. I have no idea if you’re looking for romantic ideas, gift ideas, just generally what a friday should look like, how to have an “all the single ladies” night. I can literally say whatever I want bc you’ve left it open for me, and I appreciate that.

Good Ideas for Valentine’s Day:

1. Call it “ValenTIMES day”

2. Go to Target two days after V-Day and purchase candy 50-75% off

3. Watch rom-coms alone in your bedroom.

4. Make a playlist of slow One Direction songs and put on big headphones, turn it all the way up and sit on a park bench.

5. Cook dinner for your boo and put an engagement ring inside the vegan cheesecake.

6. SCAVENGER HUNT

7. Spin the bottle.

8. Take your cat to get groomed and place bets on how long she’ll hate you afterward.

9. Go to a musical show and propose during a romantic song. or go to a basketball game and propose on a jumbotron.

10. Make an entire weekend of the holiday. Go to all of the places you went on your first few dates and recreate the selfies you took together. Pledge to kiss each other every ten minutes on the 14th. Say “I love you” every ten minutes on the 15th. Make a list of your favorite things about one another and read them out loud on the 16th. Remember it’s a dumb holiday and doesn’t make a ton of sense, but the entire point is to do dumb shit like flowers and bears and candies for no reason at all, it’s just a stupid day to remember that you’re in love and your love is a very special love and while we should be doting on our loves all year round, we get caught up. Life gets out of hand and we forget to make one another feel special. So here’s your chance to do all the dumbest things to make up for the special moments that were forgotten.

Kristin Says:

Good Ideas for Valentine’s Day (cont.)

11. Buy yourself a new humidifier. We all need to stay hydrated.

12. Find a copy of Darren’s Dance moves and either invite over your friends, Skype your little cousin, or ask your boo to join you in learning the whole routine.

13. PILLOW FIGHHHHHHTS

14. Clean out your closet. Literally or metaphorically.

15. Pack a picnic basket with all the trimmings, and then layout the picnic blanket in your living room. Bonus points for creating a picnic FORT.

16. Rent a karaoke machine. Dear god, please rent a karaoke machine.

17. Go to the bank and get as many pennies as you can. Then, have a contest where you either a) compete for the best penny sculpture OR b) see who can stack the most pennies without them toppling. This, again, works for friends or boos.

18. Look up a new recipe. This one isn’t funny. It’s just nice to cook sometimes.

19. PILLOW FIGHHHHHHTS WITH MUSIIICCC

20. Work on your most incredibly creative Kristin & Dannielle valentine, and send it to us at: 237 Flatbush Avenue #153 Brooklyn NY 11217. We will totally put our favorites on the world wide web. Blamo.

02.12.2014
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"OH GOD I DON’T HAVE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR MY GF YET AND THERE’S NO TIME LEFT HELP"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Your all caps sent me into such a panic that I almost just clicked ‘publish’ instead of ‘answer’… so…

OKAY EVERY CALM DOWN AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

Now is the perfect time to get creative as hell. Go to Target and check out that $1 shit at the front. There are literally billions of dumb things. Get differently colored notecards and some tape. On each dumb thing, think of some cute shit you can do together.

1 tiny bag of caramel corn (or available candy) “to chomp while we watch ANY MOVIE OF YOUR CHOICE I WON’T EVEN COMPLAIN ONCE”
1 small plastic dinosaur “our first pet!”
3 diamond shaped chip clips “because every kiss begins with kay, and I’m not rich enough for the real thing”
2 sets of Hello Kitty silverware “for the amazing home cooked meal I’m about to make you”
1 tiny note book – this you fill with love notes. obviously.
etc, etc, etc.

You get the point. You don’t have to put a lot of money into something or have three weeks notice or whatever, just be thoughtful and creative and make it personal. LOVE CONQUERS ALL (does that work here?)

Kristin Says:

Oh my god. “Our first pet.”

*clears throat* I agree – YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN.

Here are my ideas:

1. Make 10 mugs of hot chocolate and put them going down the hallway LEADING TO A FAKE FIREPLACE THAT YOU DREW ON PAPER (or the wall if you’re in college, bc that’s what college kids do), and tell her gift number one is a romantic date where you sit on a pile of blankets by the fake fire and listen to all your favorite music and drink five mugs of hot cocoa each and see what happens…

2. Give her a fancy ticket that you make yourself which reads, “This ticket grants you admission to a day where you never leave bed NOT EVEN FOR ONE MOMENT, and you shall have meals delivered to you by the prettiest person in the whole world (*point to self when she gets to that part*), watch movies, be read to, anything your WONDERFUL HEART DESIRES.

3. MAKE YOUR OWN EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT OUT OF BACON OR FAKE BACON. LOLOLOL.

4. Omg. Make a movie using your phone or computer or whatever. Think of 7 creative ideas (like a day in bed, or an adventure in your town, or a meal you cook, etc). Start the movie by saying, “HELLO MY LOVE. The following message may only be watched one day at a time, and will reveal one week of special surprises. DON’T SKIP AHEAD YOU CHEAT. Day One: TODAY WE WILL {fill in awesome thing}. NOW STOP THE TAPE YOU CHEAT.” (Then you do the thing) “Day Two: TODAY WE WILL {fill in awesome thing}. STOP THE TAPE NOW CHEATER. (etc, etc)”

5. Propose marriage and scream HO, HO, HO. MAAAARRY CHRISTMAS!!!

You guys. I don’t know.
Good luck.

12.23.2013
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"I am in a very new relationship. What are some cute and cheap things I can do for V-Day that aren’t too serious?"

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I always go the FUNNY route. You can’t go wrong with something hilarious. There’s a box of chocolates at rite-aid that literally has the cast of twilight on the front and a plastic necklace attached… it’s ridiculous and hilarious.

OMG. I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA. YOU GUYS STROKE OF GENIUS IN THE MIDDLE OF ANSWERING. HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

The day before V-day give your n00b00 a card that says “Valentine’s day has been postponed to Feb. 15th, please do not eat any candy or do anything romantic until then,” y’all can hang out, but like DON’T DO VALENTINE’S DAY until the day after. On the 15th, when n00b00 comes over, tell her you have a surprise, but it’ll be a low key. She’ll probably be confused bc surprises are soconfusing.

Take her to walgreens/rite aid/ cvs and say ‘alright, now we spend 30$ on discount candy, all of which we have to eat tonight’ get the GOOD STUFF and the cheap stuff, get so much candy bc everything will be on sale. Also buy a tiny small beanie filled bear for her and then go back to your apt. Watch movies and pig out on candy and have a blast. Get sick to your stomach with cheap chocolate, kiss on the mouth, and present her with the tiny bear as a KEEPSAKE and be so excited that you had the best valentine’s day ever AAAND tell her that Dannielle Owens-Reid planned the whole thing.

**if she says, “who is Dannielle Owens-Reid” then break up with her on the spot**

Kristin Says:

You should make heart-shaped pancakes and watch Freaky Friday and then make-out and/or cuddle.

Or, you could write her a note that says, “come to my house at 7pm,” and give it to her with a red hershey’s kiss… then leave a trail of red hershey’s kisses leading from your front door to your living room where you have brought out all the blankets and pillows from your bed and you have coloring books and dvds and take out menus setup for a night of awesome.

Or, you could take her on a date to the local arcade and play video games all night and buy her a gift with your ticket winnings from skeeball.

Or, you could buy her a copy of your favorite book and write her a sweet note on the inside cover.

Personally, my vote goes with pancakes n make outs.
AKA PANMAKE-OUTS.

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02.11.2013
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