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“What are some cute (and respectable) ways to casually flirt with someone you’ve just recently met and might be interested in?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I think the most respectable way to flirt with someone is to treat them like they are a person you would like to get to know… which shouldn’t be THAT hard bc they are just a person you would like to get to know.

The worst thing you can do while flirting is to assume that you are entitled to a positive response. There is nothing worse that not being into someone and then being made to feel bad about it! I don’t think that’s where you’re coming from, which is dope. You’re starting off just right.

When you see someone you’re immediately attracted to, whether they’re on a stage, making your coffee, teaching your yoga class, sitting next to you on a bus – they’re still a person you don’t know AT ALL. So treat them like a person you don’t know AT ALL, but you’d like to GET TO KNOW. That’s the trick. Here are some examples:

“I love that shirt, is it from Topman?”
“I just wanted to say, the point you brought up in class was EXACTLY what I’ve been trying to say for the past month, thank you for having good words inside your brain.”
”Hey – I saw you in GUYS N DOLLS last week and you were hands down my favorite.”
(Those are conversation starters)

“Do you have any interest in getting coffee with a complete stranger?”
“I wrote my number on this piece of paper because I had the urge to ask you out, but didn’t want to do the uncomfortable thing where you have to answer right away and in front of people, so, if you’d like to – you have the option. If you don’t want to – no harm no foul, I will still make great jokes every morning when I order the same latte.”
“I would love to ask you out either as a new friend or an official date, if you’re comfortable or into either of those things.”
(Those are ways to ask a human out)

The great thing about all of the examples I just gave you? It doesn’t matter how nervous / awkward / uncomfortable you are because you’re being respectful and sweet and kind. THAT’S ALL ANY OF US WANTS. IT REALLY IS. No one wants to be approached in a way that automatically makes them feel disrespected, uncomfortable, forced into something, etc. If you can avoid making someone feel that way, you are doing a great job.

The fact of the matter is, in flirting or asking someone out, or whatever… you want the person to walk away feeling flattered and respected. It doesn’t matter if they wanna settle down and marry you, go on a date with you, see you ever again, NONE OF IT MATTERS. It’s one second in time, it’s a passing convo, it’s a quick ‘what’s up,’ it isn’t anything that matters (yet). Might as well make the person feel really good about the moment, you know? And practice makes perfect, if the first 20 times it doesn’t work, but you walk away feeling really good about the way you approached the person and you know they feel really good and nice about they way you approached them, you’ll only continue to get better at flirting because you’ll feel fucking great about the way you’re doing it!

***
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“Hi! Over the past couple of years I’ve really come out of my shell. I’ve changed my fashion, come out to my friends and family, etc. Something that still bothers me is that I’ve never been on a date before. I just turned 21 and it’s starting to really bug me. I don’t know how to get out there and meet people, and now I’m concerned that my total lack of experience is going to bother people. There’s tons of cute girls out there but I don’t know how to talk to them! Any advice?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I THINK YOU SHOULD USE PRIDE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. June is pride month in so many places and there will be events, fundraisers, street fairs, shows, etc., for all the queers!

If you don’t feel comfortable in a party environment, contact the local LGTBQ center (if there isn’t one in your city, try the closest big city you can find) and see if they need any help this month! Sometimes people will need help for one day, or two nights, or just one week and they’re calling on their friends, family, and coworkers to do their bidding. They’d be stoked to have someone like you who is trying to get out there and meet people.

ALSO, you can come up with a game for yourself called “meet 15 cuties today” and literally walk up to cute girls and say, “Hi, I’m trying to meet at least 15 cuties today and I was wondering if you’d like to be one of them?” Some people will be like ‘haha no,’ but GUESS WHAT?! You will probably never see them again, so who cares, they were just very good practice. AND ON TOP OF THAT. Some people will think it’s so sweet and say yes immediately, no hesitation, and will be so honored to have been a part of your game.

OOOORRR You can say Dannielle from EveryoneIsGay.com specifically requested that you ask a stranger to go on a date with you. If that doesn’t work, you can just blame me forever.

Kristin Says:

I support all of these ideas, and I want to say two more things:

FIRST: Your lack of experience is not going to be a turn-off to people who you’d want to date, so take all those fears, pack them in a little satchel, and toss them over your shoulder into the river. I assume you are near a river. Seriously, if I met someone today who I liked a ton and they had never dated anyone I would be like COOL GREAT STORY, ANYWAY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT? (Spoiler: I probably wouldn’t say that bc I am married but you get my point.) If they judge you bc you’ve dated less than them, they can go right in that river-bound satchel, too.

SECOND: If you are afraid to talk with your mouth right away, use dating apps! Then you get to develop the initial stages of #connection over the world wide web and you can work up the courage to type out “Do you want to meet up next week for a coffee?” and hit send and then sit in the dark looking like this:

…until they reply “YES,” and you look like this:


Tada!

***
Hi! Our advice is always free for all to read & watch. Help us keep this gay ship chuggin’ by donating as little as $1/month over here on Patreon. xo

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"If you’re buying a drink before a movie and the girl at the counter tells you she likes your Jenny Owen Youngs T-Rex shirt, is she flirting with you or does she just appreciate natural history? Asking for a friend. (JK, pls help me.)"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

“Innocent until proven guilty” ???
More like “Flirting until proven not…flirty”

Bye.

Kristin Says:

SHE IS PROBS FLIRTING. Here’s what you do. Say,

“Thank you so much, her wife really loves that shirt, too. Do you want to get married?”

That should work.

Jenny Owen Youngs Says:

I have something to add, here. I think you should say,

“What’s your favorite pre-historic era? I am pretty into the Triassic… if you know what I mean.” Then wink.

***

Hi! Our advice is always free for all to read & watch. Help us keep this gay ship chuggin’ by donating as little as $1/month over here on Patreon. xo

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Bad Valentine's Advice

Watch: The Worst Valentine’s Advice We Could Find On The Internet! The internet is full of horrible advice, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse for even more of it… so, here is Dannielle interpreting some (un)helpful Valentine’s Day advice (found and delivered to her by Kristin).

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