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"I feel like a really lousy for feminist for liking to be waxed down there… help?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

This is all so complicated because while feminism is rooted in equal rights for all, that word has taken one hell of a ride down the path of confusing as shit.

Body hair is just a tiny symptom of the larger picture. You shouldn’t HAVE to shave anything because society tells you to, ABSOLUTELY, but also… if you like the way it feels to have your legs shaved and your V waxed – you should not feel bad. Right? This whole thing stems from doing with your body AS YOU PLEASE and not answering to NOBODY *snap snap snap*

Feminism isn’t about proving women are better than men, it is about saying no one human is better than another. It’s about fighting for equality ALL AROUND, immigration, people of color, disability, men, women, students, senior citizens, hUMANS Y’ALL. We all deserve equal rights, we all deserve to be treated with respect, we all deserve to make decisions about our own bodies, our futures, our education, our religion.

You are a feminist because you believe in equality, not because you have hair on your hoo-ha.

Kristin Says:

Oh for Pete’s sake.

Listen, I understand what you are saying—as Dannielle already covered. Women have been trained to feel, over time, that they must be hairless, odorless, tiny-waisted human beings in order to be attractive, and that is fucked up. However, I have no ability, personally, to refuse myself a manicure here and there because I love the way it feels and looks and I KNOW THAT I WOULDN’T HAD I BEEN RAISED IN A DIFFERENT WORLD BUT I WAS RAISED HERE AND I LIKE MY NAILS PAINTED SO SUCK IT EVERYONE.

Sorry for yelling.

It’s quite a pickle, because you at once have things happening in your brain and body that are saying, ‘but I feel good when I have less hair on my hoo-ha,’ and other things happening in your brain that are like, ‘don’t listen to that brain, it is under the spell of patriarchy mwahahaha.’

Here’s a thought: every time you get waxed, put a dollar in a bucket labeled, “Feminism Offset Fees.” Every year, collect your dollars, and donate them to a Girl’s Rock Camp or a positive body image campaign or Gloria Steinem.

(OMG. Please dear god save up your hoo-ha waxing dollars and donate them to Gloria Steinem. Can we start a fund? This is now my favorite idea.)

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“So I'm a dude, and recently, I've started shaving my legs. It still strikes me as a weird decision, and I'm not entirely sure why except woah-m-g my legs feel awesome now. Well, at least my lower legs do. Upper legs are, despite my best efforts, covered in red spots and ingrown hairs and stubble. Ew. Might you ladies have some advice?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I’m not totally sure what you’re asking advice about but like, if it’s the razorburn/ingrown hair part, I vote shave with the hair and see if that works.

I used to get BAD razor burn on my calves bc like my instinct is to shave from the bottom up, you know? #bottomsupbottomsupUP and like, one day i was reading SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE and they were like ‘shave with the hairs to avoid blahblahbullshitskinnygirlsdressesmagazines’ AND I WAS LIKE ‘OOOOH’ and so i started to doing that and it literally changed my life. Apparently when you go against the grain #woodtalk you’re basically ripping the hairs out of your legs, so the hairs break off and are sort of halfway gone and then the bottom part of it is still stuck in your leg, so the shit can’t regrow the way it’s spose to, BOOM ingrown hairs.

This is all shit i read in some girly magazine when i was a teenager, but it’s worth a shot bc like, it works for me…

Kristin Says:

“Blahblahbullshitskinnygirlsdressesmagazines” -Seventeen Magazine via Dannielle Owens-Reid #hahahahahahahaha

Anyway, hmmmmm. If your lower legs are fine and your upper legs aren’t it must be because the skin on your upper legs is much more sensitive.  I would try a few things:

1) Instead of shaving cream, use hair conditioner.  Better yet, use ORGANIC hair conditioner.  That’s what I do and it is the best.

2) If you have an electric razor, use that first so that you aren’t shaving mass amounts of hair all at once.  Make the hairs short before using the razor.

3) Be GENTLE.  You guys.  Once, I was dating this lady and she was like, UGH I ALWAYS GET SO IRRITATED WHEN I SHAVE, and I was like, let me see what you do, and she was basically using her entire body strength to push the razor down onto her skin.  I promptly swiped the razor from her hands and showed her that you barely have to press at all to get the hairs to go away…as long as you have a good razor which brings me to point four:

4) Make sure you have a good razor.

If all else fails, you could try waxing, orrrr you could shave your lower legs and keep your upper legs hairy for a real surprise when your boo takes your shorts off. #hairsurprisefriday

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“What is the trimming standard? I'm a little nervous about having a lady down there for the first time and I'm not sure. I'm sure this is the kind of thing that varies person to person, but is there some kind of protocol? Standards? Maybe just personal opinions?”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Don’t be fooled by the fact that my name is up first, K10 totes answered first and said everything I wanted to say. The main thing is, you don’t want hairs flying out of your bikini, b/c that’s awkward. HOWEVER, it’s really up to you/your partnerincrime. Some people don’t care, some people do. Do whatever makes YOU feel comfortable. The L word said something about ‘bush confidence’ once and it made me squeal b/c the word ‘bush’ makes me really uncomfortable. BUT YOU KNOW. It’s a good point, don’t worry about it, and just feel comfy in your downstairs area. If your person isn’t into it, she’ll prolly say something, or you could always ask her?????

You guys, I’m fully aware that talking to your sig o is difficult, and normally we try to avoid it at all costs…but it really makes life a lot easier.

Kristin Says:

Okay, so, I was riding the Megabus when I got to this question and I asked all of the girls on the bus to pull down their pants so I could take a survey for you.  Some of the results were HORRIFYING, but for the most part the consensus seemed to be shaved on the sides and underneath with a close trim on the front. 9 out of the 13 pantless bus riders had this combination.  We won’t talk about the other four.

For realsies, though:  An awesome part about being a woman who is sleeping with other women, is that you probably have a pretty clear idea on what you would prefer in the way of trimming/shaving/etc.  Best bet is to just stick with that as your standard and know that, if a girl is into you, she isn’t going to freak out if you look one way and she prefers something different!  She will either be like, WHOA, I thought I liked this but now I like that, or, when you get a little more comfortable, you can ask her what she likes and modify accordingly.

Trust me, the only thing you need to concern yourself with is Dannielle’s mom.  And by that I mean, keep it clean or keep it closed, kids.

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