"My best friend told me that her friend back home would be perfect for me, and I’m willing to give it a try. How often do relationships that start this way work out? Is it more awkward to meet like ‘oh, hey, you’re as cute as you are in your pictures’ than the normal way? Or am I freaking out over nothing?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
Omg. One time I was CONVINCED that one of my co-workers should date one of my best friends and I was like “TULIP, I HAVE A BOY YOU NEED TO MEET HIS NAME IS JON AND HE’S SO CUTE AND SO SWEET AND JEWISH!!” and she was like “Cool, what’s his deal” and I was like “he makes music and I told him about you and now I want you to both get married” and she was like “So neat! Now I never want to meet him or be in the same room with him.”
So…. turns out I ruined everything by trying to force them both to like each other before they met. Like, if I just let it happen and invited them both to the same show or something, it’d be fine, BUT I HAD TO GO AND MAKE THINGS WEIRD.
Obviously though, your friend didn’t ruin anything, my only point was to say THIS IS AWKWARD AND IT’S OKAY TO FEEL THAT WAY. I’m a fan of embracing the awkward. I think you let your friend set you up for a FULL-ON blind date. They used to do those back in the 90s before people used the internet to find love. Just go on the date and when you’re feeling weird say, “Honestly, I thought people stopped going on blind dates after 1997, so I’m feeling very retro right now.” Your date will laugh, it’ll open the door to actually talk about the awkwardness, and you can move forward.
Ooooooooh and then you can watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and pretend it’s in REAL TIME.
OH MY GOD ‘BLIND DATE’ IS THE NAME OF AN EPISODE OF ANGEL YOU SHOULD WATCH THAT ONE.
Except it is about three children who are abducted by a blind demon so like, maybe you shouldn’t.
Anyway… I agree with Dannielle’s advice.
Have a good day.
“I just had my first [gay] blind date ever. We hung out and chatted for a while and she was totally cool, but not necessarily my type romantically. How do I ask her to hang out again as just friends & not make it awkward? We left things super vague.”
- Question submitted by Anonymous
I have been literally thinking about this FOR DAYYSSSS. It’s like, what DO YOU DO?!?! B/c if you like someone, and you go on a date with them, you just keep up the talking. You say ‘i wanna hang out with you again’ or ‘when can i see you next’ or ‘i think you’re pretty’ or ‘i wanna bone your face off’ … maybe not the last one. BUT LIKE FEELINGS ARE SO DELICATE.
To be completely honest, I would let the next hang out be something super casual and maybe in a group. If you have mutual friends (which, since you said blind date, i’m assuming you do), don’t INVITE HER b/c then it will feel like a date, but do say ‘hey are you coming to rachel’s party?’ (you guys i said that b/c my friend rachel is having her bday party tonight and i’m NOT AT ALL CREATIVE)…If you have nothing like that coming up. I guess you’ll never see her again. JAYKAY.
I suggest something like ‘i really want to see ‘tangled 3d’ but all my other friends think i’m dumb, you in?’ …like kind of suggest the word ‘friend’…or text her ‘can we be best friends?’ or something. You have to throw the word ‘friend’ out if that’s all you’re looking for, or else you’ll string her along…i mean, she’s probably feeling what you’re feeling, a connection is usually pretty mutual. you know?
IF YOU DIDNT BONE OR EXCHANGE RINGS YOU ARE GOING TO BE FIIIIIINE.
See…here is the thing about how my brain works. If you and I had gone on a blind date, and I thought you were really into me, but you were like, ‘Shit, I don’t want to bone this girl,’ but then you called me and were like, ‘Yo are you going to Rachel’s party?’ …I would translate that immediately into you wanting to bone me.
Does that make sense? #iautomaticallyassumehangingoutmeansboning
I think that SOME of us have a tendency to hear what we want to hear, unless specifically told otherwise. So. I feel like their are a few options that still leave room for clarity…like, ‘Hey, since that dumb dating idea didn’t work out, do you want to go check out that new movie with The Rock in it?’
…that is a really dumb idea.
If you want my honest-to-moses opinion, just see her the next time your paths cross. Don’t worry so much about initiating a FRIENDS ONLY hangout…that shit always gets confusing. If she calls you and wants to hang, be like, ‘Oh yeah, my girl Alicia wants to check that art exhibit out, too, mind if we both join?’ If there is no way that your paths will ever cross again and you really want to be friends with this lady, then just do like Dannielle suggests and say the word friend a lot, and also don’t do dumb things like tell her she looks nice, play with her hair, or bone her.