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"I share a house with my BFF from high school and his BF. Recently I purchased a bottle of [sexy/expensive] men’s body wash. Every time I go to use it, it’s upside down, the cap is open and I’ve noticed the levels of body wash decreasing rapidly. I don’t mind them using it, I’d probably steal it too if it wasn’t mine. I just can’t afford to buy a new bottle every other week. It’d be fine if they bought the next one, but I’m afraid to approach the subject without coming across like I’m accusing…"

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

YOU HAVE TO MANIPULATE THEM.

Sorry, I’m in a dramatic mood this morning.

Honestly, this doesn’t have to be a big deal at all. Especially since it doesn’t seem like you give too many shits. Here is what I would do, next time they are out and about, shoot one of them a text that says “Hey, can you guys pick up more body wash while you’re out?” Things will go one of three ways, (1) they had no idea they were using your bod wash bc they both thought it was the other boyz or (2) they will be like “omg yes sorry we keep forgetting” bc they aren’t assholes and they understand the concept of sharing or (3) they will be like “uh… you mean pick up some body wash FOR YOU? Can you pay me back????” because they are absolutely assholes.

The first two are simple to deal with because you’ll just LOL together and keep smelling the same and life will be rainbows and butterflies. NUMBER THREE IS THE WORST. There isn’t a whole lot you can do about someone being an outright terrible roommate/sharer. If this is the case, I suggest you get a tiny plastic thing that you keep your bathroom stuff in and just take it to and from the bathroom every time you shower. IT’S THE WORST, but if they’re not going to compromise and you’re not into the idea of scream-fights over body wash, this is a solid option. HERE’S TO HOPING YOUR ROOMIES AREN’T A-HOLES *body wash cheers*

Kristin Says:

That is a pretty good plan —- passive aggressive action-taking at its finest. The bottom line here is that you either have a roommate who doesn’t realize they are doing anything wrong OR you have a roommate that is a dickweed, so you have to crack that case before you take further action. You know?

First of all: Dear Roommates of Other People, Do not use things that don’t belong to you without acknowledging that you have used said thing and replacing said thing. If you have used someone’s shampoo once or twice, be a doll and just get a whole new bottle. Don’t use something if you can’t replace it, and don’t use anything that is irreplaceable. No matter how close you are with your roommate BELIEVE ME IT ISN’T OKAY — even when it is okay, it often skirts the line to a place where someone feels weird, so just be courteous and treat anything that isn’t yours like… LIKE IT IS NOT YOURS.

For you, dear darling victim of an ignorant roommate, I would do what Dannielle says. Sure, maybe it will come off a little accusing, but there is not real way to deal with this maturely without somehow addressing the fact that your bodywash is being used by someone other than yourself. Remember that you aren’t accusing in a BAD way, though, you are just saying “Hey I am down to share bodywash, let’s just figure out a system so we are both contributing.” It is hard to do, but it is the best way forward.

If you literally cannot do that and aren’t at a point in your life where you feel comfortable speaking those words, then do the following:

1. Buy a bottle of CVS brand bodywash with flowers and hearts all over it.
2. Empty the flower nightmare inside, wash, refill with expensive sexy boy wash.
3. Refill sexy boy bottle with water.

#passiveaggressivewednesday

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