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“My girlfriend is coming home to meet my huge family for Thanksgiving. All of the adults know already, but do I owe it to them to not be obviously gay so that the little kids don’t get confused?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I say in any family situation with any family member regardless of ages or genders or who’s around… lay off the PDA.

I understand wanting to make your LUUUVER feel comfy, but a small hug will do the trick and hugs aren’t super gay. AMIRITE?

I also think it’s a good idea to ask your family grown ups what they prefer. Giving them a quick call to say ‘hey I’m bringing CHASTITY to thanksgiving and I was wondering if it was okay for me to introduce her to the kids as my girlfriend or if you’d prefer something else?’ Not only will they REALLY appreciate that you asked, it’ll give them the opportunity to talk to you about it. Some might be uncomfortable, some might not care at all and some might say ‘I’M SO GLAD YOU CALLED, HOW SHOULD I EXPLAIN THIS TO MY 5 YEAR OLD?!?!’ Then you get to tell them that it’s actually easier to explain to kids the younger they are because they understand it immediately. If you say ‘CHASTITY AND HOPE love each other’ they say ‘ok cool’ and then they throw a block at someone.

It’ll be totally cool, be open with your questions and respect whatever it is that your family grown ups ask of you. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY.

Kristin Says:

I actually disagree with some of the stuff that Dannielle said up there, which NEVER HAPPENS, so this is mildly exciting. I understand the general context of being respectful of other people, etcetera, however, I think that you need to be comfortable around your family, and I know that we ALL know that the kiddies aren’t going to be confused if things are done in an open and honest manner.

Here’s what I say:

1. Act like yourself, and don’t hide the fact that you care about your girlfriend. Hold her hand if you feel so inspired, put your head on her shoulder when you guys are watching a movie, and tell the story about how you guys were at dinner for your anniversary when Brad Pitt walked in and then you both squealed silently and then couldn’t stop laughing. Act. Like. Yourself.

2. Be open to conversation with your grown-up family members. I don’t think you have to necessarily call them beforehand (though you can if this is what makes you feel best!), but when you get a moment aside with the parents of the babies, let them know that you are totally open to their input. You can say, “Hey, I am completely comfortable answering any questions that MICHELLETANNER and RAVENSYMONE have (#babies) about me and my girlfriend, but I wanted to know if you had any questions or if you preferred to answer those questions yourselves.”

The key here is your own comfort level. If your eyes bug out and you break into a cold sweat every time you hold your girlfriend’s hand around your family… then everyone else is also going to feel uncomfortable. If that is where you are at, then for now just DON’T hold hands! When I first started bringing ladies home, I never went anywhere near them in front of my family – because I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t comfortable. Now, however, if I have a lady home, I hold her hand and snuggle with her and feel totally at ease. You have to do what YOU are comfortable with, because your own level of comfortability with your relationship is what is conveyed to those around you.



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