“After skirting around the question all night, my friend and I confessed our feelings to one another. Only problem was the awkward hour that followed it. We didn’t kiss or make a move, and earlier we had been discussing how relationships in high school are weird because you probably won’t make it in the long run. Should I propose dating for our last couple years before college, or should we just stay close friends? I don’t want any regrets, but I also don’t want a resigned break up.”
-Question submitted by Anonymous
First of all HOORAY, YOU DID IT! You said your feelings! Your friend said their feelings!! That means that before you started to wonder OMG WHAT WILL HAPPEN THO and scurried over to Everyone Is Gay for advice… you both felt that amazing firework explosion that happens when you connect to a human who you care about. That is the best feeling, and I am totally stoked for you both! Fireworks, fireworks, fireworks!
Now, as generally tends to happen with human beings, your heart was all *kapow kapow* and your friend’s heart was all *kablam kablam* and then your brains were like *screeeeeeeeeeeech* and then you both just looked at each other like:
I get it. I totally get it. However, the fact of the matter is that you have connected to this person and sharing that connection can (and probably will) be an incredible & important experience for you both, despite what may or may not happen after high school.
My answer, then, as is usually the case, is to talk more about your feelings, talk about the things you are afraid of, and talk about what it all means to you both. Set a timeline if you want, where you take three days or a week or two weeks to sift through things in your brains and hearts, both together and apart from each other. Then, reconvene and make out with each other! SORRY, WAIT. I meant, *clears throat* reconvene and talk about how you would both like to handle the situation as responsible adults.
Also know this: even if you spend the most incredible year with this human and you decide to go your separate ways after a time, that doesn’t have to be something that either of you regret. I have actually found that regret tends to happen much more when we choose not to do something for fear of “what might be,” instead of choosing something for what it is, right in this moment.
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