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"FIRST DATE HELP?! I’m super panicking, I have a date in a week. With a girl. Who I’m actually into. What do I wear if I’m not super feminine? WHAT IF IT’S AWKWARD? How do I keep myself from canceling like I always do?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

As far as what to wear. JUST FEEL COOL. It’s like, if you try to go too nice or you try to look like you’re not trying too hard or you try to look “super cazsh” (abbreviation for casual?) you’re just going to be uncomfortable and wondering what she’s thinking about what you’re wearing. You won’t even hear a single story she tells because you’ll be like “SHE JUST LOOKED AT MY SHIRT I THINK WHAT DOES SHE THINK ABOUT MY SHIRT.” So wear what you feel good in.

Keep yourself from canceling by reminding yourself that it isn’t actually that big of a deal. If it’s the FUCKING WORST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE. It’s 3 hours. THREE HOURS. And tbh, if it’s the worst, it probably won’t be more than 1 hour. That’s 1/24th of one day. That’s 1/168th of a week. That’s 1/8,675th of one year… IT’S NOTHING. By the time your 40th bday hits, you will either (1) not even remember the shitty date, (2) love talking about the time you went on a ridiculous date with someone you never saw again, (3) have a really good friend who you tried to date once, (3) STILL be super in love with the person you went on an awkward date with… YOU KNOW?

Be comfortable and confident in what you’re wearing. Go on the date because why the fuck not?! Don’t cancel because the first step in keeping yourself from canceling, is to keep yourself from canceling.  Have a blast and maybe watch an episode of COSMOs to remind yourself that life is fairly meaningless, nothing matters, and you’re just here to make the most of it and have a nice time. Plus shout out to getting some kisses, maybe?!

Kristin Says:

Ummmmm, I feel like our work here is done?!

FINE FINE, I will add three things.

FIRST: this person is going on a date with YOU. That is because they are interested in you. Wake up the day of the date, and pretend that you are hanging out with your best friend that night. Dress accordingly. This person took interest in the person you were before you were worried about impressing them… so, in the words of the Jersey Shore or Autostraddle or someone somewhere, the first step is always you do you.

SECOND: If it gets awkward, tell a story about how you wrote into Everyone Is Gay asking what to do if it got awkward, and THEY said to bring a deck of cards and play Spit. (Bring a deck of cards, and learn how to play Spit). Then, do that. You’ll fall in love, and it will be great.

THIRD: Print this out and put it in your wallet and every time you want to cancel look at it and remember what Dannielle said:


If that doesn’t work, picture me doing this:



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One thought on “Nervous for a First Date

  1. Hi!! Big fans since you guys aided the way in my coming out in 2011. The question is for my 30 year old gay guy friend who just became 40 days sober of everything and is realizing that underneath the mask of alcohol and drugs, he loves men. Since he was in a bit of a fog he doesn’t know how to confidently approach people in general when out, but especially guys he likes. What are some way he can meet guys where he won’t be surrounded by vices and be in a comfortable atmosphere to meet other gay men?

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