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"Hi Everyone! So I'm in a kinda awkward situation... I've been dating this lady for 7-ish months and spend a lot of time at her place. I recently found a few old mementos from her past lovers - love notes, journals, cards, gifts, etc. I'm finding it hard to not feel jealous (especially cuz I'm not as experienced as her when it comes to relationships, and I trash everything after the relationship is over)... What do you suggest we do? Do I have the right to feel upset and jealous about this?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Kristin Says:


2 thoughts on “My Girlfriend Keeps Stuff From Past Loves

  1. That’s a really lovely way to look at it. I had the same problem when I started dating my current partner. She had a lot of gifts from exes and I became insecure because I didn’t understand why she would keep anything a past lover had given her. It took me a while to remember that she was much more experienced with dating and had shared a lot of life experience with other people, which is extremely normal! We’ve actually talked about it (when insecure, I’ve learned that talking about it [NOT ACCUSINGLY] can really help straighten things out) and she explained that, although she most certainly doesn’t have romantic feelings for any of the men or women from her past, she keeps gifts to help her remember the things she’s learned. Dating me shouldn’t mean that she has to forget about her past or that she can’t acknowledge the other people she’s shared her life with. I’d say her past relationships have really helped her become the wonderful lady she is today.

  2. Hey there! I’m so happy you’ve been with this girl for so long! Keep being you! It’s okay to be jealous of her momentos. I would personally just talked to her about it. Jealousy is normal. I would just sit down with her and have a talk. Just say that it makes you a bit jealous. She’ll understand. Everyone gets jealous so it’s okay to be like this. Good luck with it all!

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