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“I finally got up the courage to tell my parents I want to start seeing a therapist, and they’ve been fully supportive. The problem is, I want to tell my best friend because she knows I’ve been feeling down for a long time (though I don’t think she knows that it’s this serious), but I don’t know how to go about it. I probably won’t see her in person for about a month, so should I wait until then or tell her over chat? And what do I SAY so it’s not too awkward?”

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

First of all, going to a therapist is RIDICULOUSLY COMMON. 95% of the people i know in real life go to therapy and prolly a whole bunch of people i dont know also go to therapy.

I think telling her over chat is totally fine and i think you don’t have to take it too seriously. I recommend calling your therapist CAPITAN POTATO so you can chat her and be like ‘hey sorry i’m late i had another meeting with CAPITAN POTATO and i got caught up talking about my dumb ole mom leaving the refrigerator open all the time, i dunno why it bothers me so much, but IT JUST DOES’ and then she’ll be like ‘who’s capitan potato??’ and you’ll be like ‘LOL cappy p is my therapist, i gave her a fun name bc dannielle from everyoneisgay.com told me to’ and then she’ll be like ‘omg i love everyoneisgay.com’ and you’ll be like ‘ME TOO WEBCAST MARATHON???’ and then you guys will have the best day ever.

I understand that the things that you’re going through in life may be difficult and that’s why you are in therapy and really THAT’S what you wanna talk about, but the fact that you’re seeing someone and talking to someone to make these things easier IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Don’t let that weigh you down at all because that is the tiniest of things. Talk to your friend the way you would talk to her about getting a new pair of shoes, therapy is not a big deal, save the serious talks for the serious issues, you know? AND MAYBE you can use the news of your therapy sesh to talk about serious things! and you can be like ‘yea actually capitan potato has been helping me with THIS which is actually awesome’ and make your BFF aware that things are headed in the right direction, if you’re feeling awesome she will feel awesome and you can talk about being awesome together.

Kristin Says:

Usually I make up additional names to supplement the ones Dannielle creates, but there is no way in hell I am going to top CAPITAN POTATO, so that is officially your new therapist’s name. I really, really, REALLY hope that somehow that comes up in your next session because I REALLY want CAPITAN POTATO to know that is their new name…

Aaaaanyway. Yes! Absolutely tell her over chat and you can say it in any way you like, because the best part about life is that even if the initial moment is awkward, you have a whole bunch of moments that follow that where you can work it out and make it not-so-awkward. My initial coming out process with sooooooo many of my friends was sooooooo awkward (and I know this isn’t ‘coming out’ but it still fits the same IDEAS), and now so many of those stories are our absolute favorite ones to relive. Once I came out over chat (at the time it was AOL Instant Messenger #old) by saying, “I am dating someone. HER name is Randi,” to which my friend immediately chatted me back, “Ohhhhh so you swing both ways like a rusty door?” There I was thinking she’d be horrified and instead she made a joke and that was that.

Dannielle is right, you going to therapy is not something that should make anyone feel weird, because I am very convinced that nearly the whole world goes to therapy (I went for about 8 years!). That said, it may be a big deal to YOU and that makes total sense because it is a new thing, and an important one. So, if you don’t feel up to making a TOTAL joke about it, just say, “Hey. I know that I’ve told you about how I have been feeling down and stuff, and so I finally asked my parents if I could see someone about it and they said I could. So, I am now your friend who goes to a therapist. Everyone needs at least one.” That way you address the serious, you address that it’s an important thing to you, and you still get a tiny giggle. Approach it like that, and remember that even if you feel awkward… that’s totally okay. BFFs are BFFs are BFFs you guys. You will work it out, and she will love you just the same and be supportive of you.

Please, though, no matter what you do, do not do this without using CAPITAN POTATO.

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