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"I showed my parents Macklemore’s “Same Love" video because I think it’s really cool and now I’m pretty sure they think I’m gay because they’ve been giving me weird looks for like 3 days… How do I start the “I’m not gay but I have friends who are and I care about equal rights" conversation with them? I’m also a tiny bit weirded out that THEY’RE so weirded out."

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I mean… I would literally start that convo the way you fake started it in your question.

You both feel weird bc you feel weird bc they feel weird that you feel weird that they feel weird… you know what I mean?!!? Chances are, if you weren’t UNCOMFORTABLE with the idea of showing them the video, they probably don’t hate all gay things ever. Which is good, but also means they’re probably like “MAYBE OUR KID IS GAY AND NOT TELLING US BUT HOW DO WE COMMUNICATED THAT IT IS OKAY WE DONT KNOW MAYBE WE COULD I DON’T KNOW WE COULD LIKE I DON’T KNOW,” but that’s all in their heads so they just stare at you wide eyed, and then you stare at them wide eyed bc you’re like “why are they staring at me wide-eyed” and before you know it, it’s been three days and no one has left the living room.

I’m sure there was a run-on sentence somewhere up there, and for that I apologize. HOWEVZ, the point of all my ramblings = you all feel weird and the only way to clear the air is for you to say your PIECE. If you want to say “Hey so, I’m not gay ps. but I do have gay friends, and I feel pretty strongly about equal rights, which is why I’m super into that SAME LOVE song and I wanted to share that with you, is that okay?”

It will start the conversation, you’re not accusing them of being weirdos, you get to tell them you’re not gay (yet, AMIRIGHT?!!? CUZ EVERYONE IS GAY DOT COM) and it’ll give them a chance to talk about their feels. Everyone winz.

Kristin Says:

Agree agree agree.

Here is the thing with a lot of parental units: they want to be good parental units but no one has given them a guidebook or a manual or a learner’s permit or whatever the hell one needs to feel like they are properly prepared for something. They are just like, “Shit, well, I guess we will try this thing and hope it doesn’t mess our kids up too much – HERE GOES NUTHIN’.”

(They spell nuthin’ like that bc they are parents, you guys.)

There’s a good chance they are trying to be good parents but aren’t sure WHAT the next move is in this situation. You opening up a conversation where you say, “Hey it occurred to me that you might think that I showed you that music video as a hint toward my own sexuality – and maybe you are now wondering if you are supposed to ask me more questions or WHATHAVEYOU,” is a great place to begin. Say directly to them, “So, I figured I’d help us out in that step and let you know the reasons why I like the song, and let you know that it is not because of my own sexuality but because I think people standing up for human equality is important and should happen more often.”

If the parents are like, “We believe in those things, too, I am glad you cleared this up,” then you can all make pancakes or something and have a great day. If the parents are like, “Thank god, we were terrified you might be gay,” then this dialogue is going to open up some very big conversations. Stick it out and talk to them, though, because even if their starting point is, “PHEW GOOD THING YOU AREN’T GAY,” doesn’t mean that there isn’t a ton of room to grow and learn.

PS: thanks for supporting equal rights and all that good stuff. ////,
PPS: If you are new to this site, ////, is my high-five emoticon.

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