"I've been taking an androgynous approach with looks lately.I'm seriously LOVING it. I haven't exactly came out to my family yet, but I think they're starting to get the memo. Lately, dad has been getting me to do lots of the handy work.
Up until now, I was 'his little girl' and he usually never asked me for favors, now I'm stuck at home with a hammer in my hand. I think it's been because of the way I've been dressing.
I was wonder what your opinions were, and if you think it's fair to be treated like this just because I dress more masculine. Is there anything I can do to clarify things with my dad?"
- Question submitted by Anonymous
I mean, it’s technically not fair to be treated anyway SOLELY because of the way you’re dressed. ON THE OTHER HAND, I remember when I turned like 15 my mom started making me carry a lot more stuff, and I helped her fix things and what not, and I wasn’t a total gaywad til I was like 19. So, it could be just a coming of age ‘oh, she’s old enough to work a drill now.’
I wouldn’t jump to conclusions, but really the only way for it to stop is for you to talk to him. So, if you don’t want to talk to him, there’s probably an issue. You don’t have to be like ‘i’m a ‘mo and i don’t wanna do your handy work’ but you could be like ‘yo pops, i don’t actually enjoy making bookshelves’
OR WEAR DRESSES LIKE GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO.
I know that I should probably be all, “You need to tell your dad that dressing in pants doesn’t mean you like the smell of car grease,” but to be honest I am more like, “Eeeeee Dads are so cute sometimes, though!”
What I mean to say is that, if you have been your dad’s main girl up until now, he is probably just trying to remain close to you…and he is a dad and so he’s like, “Oh man, maybe she wants to help me do some of my dad-things.” It isn’t right, in the sense that he is stereotyping your interests based on your looks, but it seems that he is doing that without realizing, and that his intentions are solely to remain close to you. That basically makes me melt into a pile of dads-are-cute mush, and I forgive him his inaccurate and slightly offensive associations.
All that said, you don’t have to agree with me or feel all lovey-dovey dad-time. What I would suggest, though, is that you approach him from a place where you let him know that you appreciate him making the attempt to be close to you, but that you don’t really love pounding nails (ay-oh). Offer up another idea of something that you can both do together, though, because that will likely make his whole day.
Then, try to forgive Dannielle.