, , , , , , , , , , ,

"It seems to me that alcohol is incredibly popular amongst gay people, it's like 99% of them love drinking... except for me. Nobody particularly forces me to drink, but the peer-pressure to drink is quite intense. I have drunk in the past and know it can be fun, but I took a personal decision to never drink again (gotta keep those neurons healthy) How should I manage that pressure so it doesn't ruin my fun at parties?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

OH. I don’t drink, just FYI. I, too, have before but just don’t care enough. My reasons: my mom is an alcoholic, it tastes like nail polish remover, it’s a waste of money, it doesn’t actually make me feel more fun / exited / relaxed. So like.. WHAT IS THE ACTUAL POINT?! For me, it doesn’t make sense to spend money on something that I don’t even like the taste of, which will not necessarily make my night any more fun, and then I’ll have to think about my mom, you know? There is legit no point.

Usually when people are like “just try it, it doesn’t taste like alcohol,” I’ll be like “I can already smell it though” and then they’re over it. OR I will taste it and my throat will feel on fire and it will be as disgusting as I’d imagined (or more) in the first place… again, then my friends are over it. PLUS my reasons are pretty valid, so no one feels the need to pressure. AND I’ve been in a situation where I’ve just said, “hey, FYI, I’m not drinking because I don’t want to, so no matter how many times you say something I’m not going to drink bc it’s not a thing that I want even a little bit” and people will be like “oh good point” and it’ll be over.

Another hot tip: I drink sparkling water with lime, people see a drink in your hand and don’t even bother to ask. ORRRRR you can be the loudly proclaimed designated driver. OORRRR you can yell, “I’M ALREADY FUN THOUGH” and dance super hard. ORRRRR you can just politely decline and say “nah, i’m cool!” and keep the conversation going. I think they less you focus on it, the less others will focus on it. AND if they keep harping, do the thing I said before. BYEEEE

Kristin Says:

F*ck yeah.

I don’t know why I just censored myself.


What I mean to say is, all of the things Dannielle just listed are super accurate, spot on, and totally badass. I do drink alcohol when I go out, and I enjoy having a glass or two of wine or a fancy cocktail. That said, Dannielle is one of my best friends on the planet Earth, and I have a goddamn blast with her sober ass each and every time we are out together.

You want to know the truth? Sober people are a good time.
One or two-glass-of-wine Kristin is a good time.
Drunk people (Kristin included) are not such a good time.

They are loud, they don’t understand spatial reasoning, they say things they wish they hadn’t, and they generally feel like a pile of poo and have to eat greasy food and whine about shit for 12 to 48 hours after said drinking is complete. (12 hours is for young people and 48 is what happens when you are an old bag like me).

SO WHAT DO YOU DO, ANON? Well, like I mentioned, Dannielle really nailed it up there, so the only things I would like to add are thus:

1. Stay strong and be vocal: Humans who’ve looked at me when I ask them why they are not drinking and have said, “I am having a blast, and I don’t enjoy drinking,” have made me realize that I, too, probably do not need to have five drinks in a night to have fun. It is a great lesson for all.

2. Leave when you’re over it: Most times, when you stay sober at a party where people are drinking, it is an absolute blast unless/until people start getting wastey. Wastey people, as aforementioned, are a pain in the ass. You will not miss any memories that you will care about if you stay for the fun part and leave when everyone starts looking cross-eyed. What’s even more fun is that this is when people’s memories get foggy, so tomorrow you can legit look at all of them and be like OMG REMEMBER THE ELEPHANT THOUGH?! and they will be so, so confused.

3. I respect you: So should everyone else. Don’t take shit from people and know that you and your neurons are badass.

To the rest of you: be safe this holiday season, please. Drink in moderation and if you get a little more festive than you planned, make sure you have someone to take you home OR USE AN UBER OR SLEEP ON A COUCH. Don’t piss me off. Capeesh?


Hi! Our advice is always free for all to read & watch. Help us keep this gay ship chuggin’ by donating as little as $1/month over here on Patreon. xo


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *