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"If a gay girl says you should have coffee, how do you know when it’s just coffee and when it’s a date? What about lunch? Is lunch ever a date?"

- Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Coffee, lunch, dinner, watching movies, walking, doing homework, building ikea furniture, arguing, EVERYTHING IS A DATE.

I mean, maybe not everything, but like… EVERYTHING IS A DATE IF YOU’RE ON A DATE. If she would have said “wanna go to Target and help me pick out a toy for my baby bro” and then you guys started a relationship, two years from now you’d be like “LOL OUR FIRST DATE WAS AT TARGET LOL” … You know?

Play it by ear. Don’t EXPECT that you’ll make out and fall in love and travel the world picking up one baby in each country (via brad and angelina), but also don’t try to force yourself not to have a great time. If the two of you have an amazing connection and she wants to see you again and you decide to kiss on the mouth, SO BE IT. If the two of you have a cool time and turns out you have a ton in common and you wanna go see Thor2 together and be best friends, SO BE IT. Let the coffee-time make the decisions, don’t go in with preconceived notions about when/where to put your mouth or you’ll be a hot mess.

Kristin Says:

I agree. Everything is always potentially a date. We could be on a date RIGHT NOW but you won’t know for sure until we get to the end of this post.

AND THEREIN LIES THE POINT.

You don’t go into this coffee maybe-date acting like it’s a date. You go into having coffee like you are having coffee with a person who you like and may like you but who knows so just play it cool.

Ask her what she likes and does and tell her a story about how your braces got caught on your computer keyboard in 6th grade. Just hang out. Don’t reach over and try to hold her hand while she stirs her coffee (first, bc BE COOL, second bc she’ll probably spill it), don’t tell her you love the way her hair falls into her eyes, don’t throw her up against the coffee shop wall and mash your mouth on hers before you part ways. JUST. HAVE. COFFEE.

After you’ve had your coffee and you’ve talked about life and your favorite TV shows and how much you love Kristin & Dannielle from Everyone Is Gay, check in with yourself. Did you have fun? Do you like this girl? Did you think she was maybe flirting a little?! If the answer is yes and yes and yes and SHUT UP KRISTIN I JUST WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH HER, then ask her to hang out again. If she talked the entire time about how much she loves her girlfriend, then spoiler alert: you just made a new friend. You know? Context clues, guys. It’s all about context clues.

Since I spent this entire post trying to teach you how to get it on with coffee-girl, you can gather that you and I were not on a date, but rather that I was giving you helpful advice on how to manage your love life. See how that works?

Boom.

 

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