"Ok, so my girlfriend decided to go away to college while I’m stuck at home. I’m occasionally jealous and it’s horrible. I don’t like the fact that other people get to see her more than I do, but nothing can be done. It’s not that I don’t trust her, it’s just that I want to be able see her too. Is there a way I can at least feel better?"
-Question submitted by Anonymous
I think you should start by not saying “my girlfriend decided to go away to college while i’m stuck at home” … That sentence alone tells me a few things (1) you are not fully in support of her (2) you do not respect her decisions (3) it is essentially YOU against HER.
Now, you can miss her, you can be jealous, you can feel uneasy. ALL of those feelings make sense and you are not wrong for any of them. HOWEVER, you have to support her, love her, and respect her if you want this relationship to work. I have been in a relationship where I was away from home doing something amazing and the person I was dating said “I’m stuck here doing nothing and you’re off doing that” and all that did was make me feel shitty. I wanted to include her, to tell her about the people I was met, the things i did, the places I saw, but I felt like I couldn’t. I felt like my happiness just made her feel worse and worse.
So, here is what I suggest. Plan dates. Plan dates where you skype and eat the same kind of food at the same time. Watch movies together. Make her share her screen and show you the people she’s hanging out with, update you on the drama, etc. If they’re all getting together for movie night, have her skype you in, meet her friends, etc. Tell her you love what she’s doing, you’re so proud of her, and you 100% support her, but you miss her and you want to be a part of her life as much as possible. The two of you will find your grove and it will be okay, but only if you work hard and love each other.
Sometimes Dannielle gives advice that is so good and thorough that all I want to do is add a picture of a kitten and call it a day.
You know what?
FUCK IT, HER ADVICE IS PERFECT AND YOU SHOULD DO EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID.