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“Hey guys! So I'm only officially out to a few of my friends; the rest pretty much know, but I haven't 'come out' to them yet. I'm generally a funny person (if I may say so myself) so I was wondering if you had any ideas for funny ways to come out without getting too serious or heavy. Thanks! Love you guys :)”

- Question submitted by Clapoverhead

Dannielle Says:

HERE IS A TRUE STORY:

When I was just out of college I was hanging out with an old friend and he was like ‘i want to tell amanda (mybestfriendintheworld) I’m gay, but I don’t want it to be awkward, so I think I’m going to turn it into a game’ and I was like ‘oooookay’

So, we’re all eating a MOE’S SOUTHWESTERN GRILL and he’s like ‘do you guys wanna play a word association game?’ and we were like ‘alright’ and he was like ‘frog’ and amanda goes ‘green’ and i go ‘grass’ and he goes ‘i’m gay’ and then i laughed and laughed and laughed and amanda was like ‘wait…what?’

——

We basically talked about it right then and it was all fun and great, but the point is, you can pretty much do anything. If I were you I would suggest a few real good lines:

1. “Oh man, you know what’s so gay?….THIS GUY *points to self*”

2. “HAKUNA MATATA WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE HAKUNA MATATA OH BY THE WAY I’M GAYYYY IT MEANS NO WORRIES FOR THE REST OF I’M GAYYYYY”

3. “hahahahahha” …”why are you laughing” …..”BECAUSE I LOVE BONING MEMBERS OF THE SAME SEX…HILARIOUS RIGHT?!?!”

4. skip to 5.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
5. “Hey guys, check out this question i asked on everyoneisgay.com” and then pull up the website page on your computer and pose behind them with your mouth agape, pointing to yourself. Don’t move until right around now when they look behind them to see if you’re doing what i just told you to do.

Honestly, after what I just told you, WTF is kristin going to say ever? GOODLUCKKRISTIN

Kristin Says:

Having to be second in the line of funny is so harrddddd, you guys. Ughghghghg.

Let’s see…

1.  Make a t-shirt that says, “GAY PEOPLE WEAR THIS SHIRT.”

2. At lunch, be like, “You guys, you know that song FRIDAYFRIDAYGETTINDOWNONFRIDAY?  Those lyrics are almost as ridiculous as me not telling you until now that I’m gay.”

3. Scream “Rachel Maddow!” over and over and over again until someone asks you what the hell you are doing.  Then, just tell them you thought that was how you were supposed to announce that you are a homosexual.

4. Invite all your friends over and before they arrive, hide in the closet.  Then, when they are like, “Sam, where are you,” you say, from inside the closet, “I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU THAT I WOULD LIKE TO DO THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANCE.”  Then, open the closet, step outside, and do a jump split.

Goddamn.  I really wish I wasn’t out to everyone in the world so that I could execute number four personally.

PS: Bonus prize, read this article for 10 more ways…

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2 thoughts on “Funny Coming Out

  1. If I were to officially come out I’d go my father’s funeral; telling him I’m gay would kill him. So that was
    easy enough. I’d be very respectful and behave myself; I’m an only child except for the stepkids he gained
    when he remarried. Then when the first shovel of dirt was dropped on his casket I’d turn and look at his
    wife and say, “Okay Bitch, I’ve got all your shit tied up in probate…I’m his only living heir and I know he has
    no “will!”

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