“How do you know if a first date went well?”
- Question submitted by Anonymous
YOU’RE TELLIN ME.
I don’t know why I said that, but let me tell you tiny gaywads a story. Once upon a time a girl, let’s call her, HermioneGranger, went on a date with a pretty girl, LunaLovegood, and this LunaLovegood girl talked a lot. LunaLovegood told HermioneGranger like 900 stories about her life, past, present, future, whatevzies. I said some things every once in a while, but I was f’n terrified and couldn’t think of anything to talk about. PLUS I’m bad at telling stories and I hate talking about myself. Oh shit, I just told you guys Hermione was me… Anyway, we parted ways and I was like ‘SHE HATES ME I’M STUPID I HATE ME I’M STUPID THAT WAS SO DUMB SHE’S BASICALLY LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS AND I HATE MYSELF’ …and she asked me to hang out again…like that night… sooooooooooooooo
Sometimes you know, sometimes you don’t. Go with how YOUUU feel. If you like this person, go out on a limb and be like ‘i wanna hang out with you again’…if you felt awkward and you felt like you were stupid and you felt like you said everything wrong and you felt like you looked dumb and you had a bad hair day and BLAHBLAHBLAH FIRST DATE JITTERS…who cares.. If you like someone, and you want to see them again…ask to see them again.
First date = awkward, nervous, scary. It happens, but it’s worth it. GO FOR IT #connectfour
I mean, there are some sure fire ways to know if a first date went well. Like, if your date leans over and whispers in your ear, “Boy, this date sure is going well,” or if she puts her hand on your thigh and you look down and written in ink on her palm it says, “Hey, this date is going really well.”
Other than those two scenarios, first dates are pretty much like taking your feelings, putting them in a flimsy plastic bag, and pushing them off to sea in a rickety boat of uncertainty. #imgonnabeawriter
If the person you went on dateone with is suddenly not answering your calls or your texts and you don’t hear from them for a week…chances are it didn’t go swimmingly. Try to just let it go, and understand that it doesn’t mean you are an asshole, it just means that you two weren’t compatible. If your dateone wants to see you later that week, don’t wonder if she is just ‘being nice’ …IT MEANS SHE LIKES YOU.
The only dateone rules to follow are: try not to text or call more than two times in a row before getting a response (unless you are livetexting her an episode of the L Word), don’t show up at her house the next day, uninvited, with a gigantic bundle of flowers (unless she gets in a car accident and even then…), and don’t get her name tattooed on your hip before date three (unless her name is ‘I Love My Mom’).
If your dateone is smiling and friendly upon the end of the date, do yourself a favor and assume the best until proven guilty. Or, whatever.