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"What do you think about 'coming out' in personal statements and things of that nature? I'm applying to Grad school to be a counselor and my ultimate goal is to work with LGBT youth, so it is relevant but I don't know if it's a good idea to mention it and risk discrimination from whoever may be reading it."

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I can nearly guarantee you will not have an enjoyable experience at a school where your entrance essay is judged harshly based on how you identify or who you like to make out with… you know what I mean?

I think you should do it. I think things happen the way they’re meant to, or at least, things will happen the way they happen and we have every ability to make the best of those things. If you submit the best essay you’ve ever written and the person reading decides they hate it because it’s a little queer, then the right person is not reading your essay.

Have a back up, have two back ups, hell have three back ups! You won’t want to compromise yourself and your writing for a school. Compromising now means compromising for the next 4 years.

Write the best fucking thing you’ve ever written, if it happens to be queer, awesome. If it isn’t even a tiny bit queer, cool. Just write what you want to write and feel good about it, the rest will work itself out.

Kristin Says:

Do you want to know something that I think is pretty fucking cool? This March, Dannielle and I are going to be speaking at a conference for high school guidance counselors. The whole purpose of our discussion with these guidance counselors is to give them more information for working with their queer and trans students in situations exactly like the one you are having. The sentiments that Dannielle is sharing above are going to be a key part of the conversation.

I think coming out in a personal statement, if that is what is ringing in your ears and mind and heart when you sit down to write, is absolutely what you should do. Fuck the admissions office that would ever look at an honest reflection on an important facet of your identity and deny your admission because of that facet. Yes, the admissions office is not a reflection of the entire campus… but it is still a part of that campus, and if they don’t want you, they DO NOT DESERVE YOU.

I could flip at least three tables in my house over the anger I feel at even thinking of that possibility, and so should you.

You should always be encouraged to be who you are and to speak clearly and confidently about your journey, and to expect to be met with respect. Will it always happen? No, sadly it will not. However, the more people who stand together and say, “This is who I am. This is my journey. I deserve a space here on your campus/in your office/in this world,” the more powerful that chorus becomes, and the more the world has to listen.

I KNOW I GOT REALLY FIERY AND I KNOW THIS WAS ABOUT COLLEGE ESSAYS BUT YOU GUYS EVERYTHING IS A MICROCOSM OF EVERYTHING ELSE AND IT IS ALL CONNECTED AND YOU WRITE THAT GODDAMN ESSAY THE WAY YOU WANT GODDAMMIT.

YOU ARE A PERSON AND YOU ARE THE BEST.

*flips fourth table*

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Sidebar: You should check out CampusPride for help in searching through LGBTQ friendly campuses. Also, if you have written your college essay on your queer or trans identity/coming-out experience, etc, email us at info (at) everyoneisgay (dot) com… we’d love to have your input on that March panel I mentioned!!

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