Relationships / Long Distance

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“So I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about two years now, and I am absolutely head-over-heels for her, as I always have been. She feels the same way about me, but ever since we started dating, we've had a sort of agreement that we would end the relationship before we started college. Now that day is fast approaching, and I'm realizing that I really don't want to lose her. I don't know if she's changed her mind, though. Our colleges are also a few hours apart. Do you guys think it would be better for all if we did break up, and start afresh in college? Do you think I should even talk to her about it, or let it bappen? Sorry this was so long.”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

First and foremost, you said ‘let it bappen’ and I want that to be on an everyoneisgay button…so, let’s work that out.

Second and secondlymost, be honest with the way your feeling. If you’re head over heels for this girl after two years, you have something special that not a lot of people experience, after two years, a ton of people are just comfortable, so they deal with it. You should talk to her and be like ‘yo boo, i’m still feelin you’ and  why WOULDN’T you at least want to try making it work? You don’t have to force anything. If it’s too hard, it’s too hard.

That being said. I’m a firm believer you should go to college single. If you’re spending every weekend visiting your boo, you’re missing out on college, and I think it’s a great experience. I’m not saying you have to bone a ton of sorority girls, but being on a college campus and having that isn’t something you can do for the rest of your life. LDR’s take a lot of work, and it’s not always something you want to deal with when your life is completely changing.

but like. love is love is love is love, yall.

Kristin Says:

If you have been with this girl for two years and things are going wonderfully then you absolutely should talk to her about her feelings on the matter.  There is no healthy way to break off a functioning relationship, regardless of whether you are going to be far apart.  Talk to her and suss out the situation.   Don’t just let it bappen.

If she wants to stay with you, set some ground rules before you go away and stick to them.  Make sure to have weekends where you go out with your friends on campus, and give her the same freedom.

Examples of experiences you should be able to have without damaging the stability of your potential long-distance relationship: spilling purple mystery punch all over your sleeping roommate, peeing in snowed-over bushes behind the library, throwing balled-up socks out of fifth-floor dorm windows while video-taping the reactions of passers-by, eating last night’s pizza for breakfast, using chocolate syrup to re-adhere the broken tile on your dorm room floor, and studying with a lampshade on your head just for fun.

Fucking, I LOVE COLLEGE, you guys.

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“Hoookay, so, my girlfriend and I are both in college. We go to the same college, and we're getting ready to leave for the summer. We had kind of a messy courtship/breakup-but-we-weren't-actually-dating/courtship for real this time/we've been together for a few months now, and it's been great. She lives across the country and it'll probably be about 2 and a half months before I see her again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not into whining just because I won't see her for awhile. It might even be good for us. I was just wondering if you had any tips on how to keep our relationship healthy while we're away for summer vacation. Thanks! You guys are, like, the best.”

-Question submitted by Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

I mean, the best way to be in a healthy relationship is to see each other….sooooo… JAYKAYYALLSBUTFORREAL. You should be WAY honest with what you want. I mean, ask her, if she’s feeling iffy about being committed while away, maybe you should let her have her summer fun? The worst thing you can do when someone wants space is to force them to stay with you, it makes them (and eventually, you) resentful.

If you’re both into the idea of staying together, be prepared for it to be harder than you thought, but keep it fun. Go on videod8s. My friends put in headphones and stream the same movie at the same time so they can talk about the movie while watching it together. Introduce your far away friends via video. Stay cute and keep it fun. Don’t constantly talk about the fact that you’re far apart, bc you both already know that. Try to work in one trip each. That way you can see each other twice this summer! HOW FUN. #roadtripsarethebestyouguys

Oh, also, if you stay together, don’t eff up and bone someone else!

Kristin Says:

Oh, how this lesbian loves her lists.  “This lesbian” is how I refer to myself.  Here is my list:

1. Be clear on what you want: Before you leave, watch “Grease” together.  Promise each other that you will not sleep with Olivia Newton-John while away on Summer vacation, but give each other permission to sleep with John Travolta.

2.  Pen-pal romance: I am all about opening my mailbox to a hand-written love note from someone other than my mom.  Not that I don’t love my mom, but that would be weird.  Seriously, though, in addition to the video-chatting that should and must be a part of your long-distance summer, change it up a bit and use a pen and a stamp.

3.  Presentssssss: I am aware that no one has any money these days, so don’t worry.  These presents don’t have to cost a thing, but they should be tiny reminders of how much  you care for each other, and they should be wrapped.  Send each other away with five each, and then every two weeks open one together (via phone/video/etc).  Follow by being giant mush-balls of missing and love.

4. Be patient: If she is tied up with friends and doesn’t return your call right away, fight the urge to crumple into a ball of girl.  I mean, really fight it.  Petty fights grow into giant monsters when paired with distance, so remind yourself that she adores you even if she might need some down time here and there.

5. Sexytown: Modern technology has opened up about eight million new pathways to sexytown, so USE THEM.  An awesome balance of mushy-girl missing and naked-girl ngf-ing will make the time fly.

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